Keli's Note To Self

Alone

2012-01-04T14:50:00.000-08:00

One thing I find myself saying a lot these days is that I can do this myself. Most things I can. But sometimes, the myself thing really pisses me off. I get so caught up in doing things myself that I forget people are actually around to help me. And they want to help. And I should accept help.

But I don't.

Because I'm a jerk.

There's just something about getting divorced that has made me want to show everyone that I can do every thing by myself all the time. Is that too much to ask? I think not. But tell that to my brain, which tends to have a penchant for self-pity and doubt. My poor poor brain. It's up there, all alone in its little watery world, with no one to offer help. And yet it keeps on going. Doing what it does. An island. That's what I want to be. An island. But alas, no man... blah blah blah.

I've tried doing it alone. It sucks. I've tried putting up walls. They suck. Being alone sucks. But being lonely sucks worse. And I have to keep reminding myself that, like my brain, I have so many voices spurring me on, to overcome, to buoy me up, to make me happy. And I need to let them. I need to realize that alone and lonely are not the same thing.

They aren't.

And I'm not lonely.

I'm actually quite content. My life is crazy, my phone is constantly buzzing, much to the chagrin of my present company, whomever it may be at the time, and I do know I have a great network of friends by my side. This is what I've always wanted. I'm not alone really, and I'm not lonely really. I have to keep reminding myself too, that just because I'm not married anymore doesn't mean that I'm alone. Marriage didn't define me, and being single won't define me either. I will define me. Me and me alone, will define me.

Alone. But not lonely.

Changing The Way We Feel

2011-12-20T15:22:00.000-08:00

Changes come in so many forms. Divorce is really only one small part of the changes in my life lately. But it seems to be the biggest. I don't know if it's a midlife crisis kind of thing or what, but this new life has me pondering a lot on stuff. Big stuff. Like way big stuff. Spiritual stuff, and personal stuff, and family stuff, and greater-than-me-or-anything-I-could-ever-imagine kind of stuff. It's weird. I'm in a weird mood. And I'm also lacking spell check at the moment, so there's a good chance there will be lots of misspelled words. Like misspelled. Is that how you spell misspelled? Now misspelled is looking weird no matter how I type it. Sort of like when you say "though" a whole bunch of times in a row, it sounds weird.

But I digress.

Changes. Yes. I think we're all creatures of habit. We like our comfort zones, we like autonomy, we like, dare I say it, monotony. I know I do. But it seems that lately everything, every day, in fact, is a fly by the seat of my pants kind of day, and it's getting exhausting. I'm debating if I should take a digital diet. You know, a day with no phone, no computer, no tv. Could it even be done? I doubt I could do it. My phone is my lifeline. I feel like I am working constantly, (which I am), and my phone keeps me tied to that. I love my jobs, I truly do. (I think I spelled truly right, didn't I? I hate it when people spell it truelly. Ugh. So annoying.) I love being crafty all day, and making people beautiful all night. In fact, making women feel beautiful has become sort of a passion of mine. Changes, you know. Women need changes. We need highlights, and layers, and therapy. I hope I can just be a small part of that. But as I've gone through all these changes, one thing I continue to come across is women with beauty issues. We have the hardest time telling ourselves, and believing, that we're beautiful. Why? Ladies! Stop it! You are all beautiful! Why can't muffin tops be sexy, you ask? Well, they are. Embrace it. Why are wrinkles a sign of old age? They aren't! You earned them through years of smiling and laughter and tears and stress, all of which make you the amazing women you are. It's all about the changes through life. Divorce, marriage, children, stress, happiness, all sculpt and form you into wonderful people.

Embrace the change. It's the only constant we can count on, right?

Finally

2011-12-05T15:55:00.001-08:00

Well, it happened. The divorce is final. It's weird that it's over. We were engaged to be married just about the same amount of time it took for us to get divorced. I find that funny. Not like ha ha funny, but like that's interesting funny. I have to say, I miss marriage. The normalcy of it all has left a huge void in my life. I miss Sean and the way we were friends. I miss having the family life that seemed so perfect. But I don't miss the faking it, and the working endlessly at it, and the trust issues. So all in all I think it is a good thing. My new normal is still sinking in. I still sometimes refer to myself as "we", not because of the voices in my head, but because "I" was "we", inclusive with Sean and the girls. There is a lot more I've learned to do on my own. Things that are hard, things that are easy, and things that I never had any idea I could do at all. Those are all empowering things, I think.

I've tried very hard to avoid being bitter about any of this. I have good reason to be, and so does Sean. I think we've succeeded so far, at least on the surface, but it has to start somewhere, right? I debate even blogging about it, because divorce is such a personal situation and it is borderline private, even for me, who has a penchant for spewing forth every detail of my soul. I do know that I will not drag anyone through the mud on this blog, myself included in that. I am as much to blame for this as anyone else, and I totally own that. I will remain focused on what makes me happy, and how my life will change as the months and years go by. Just promise me you'll bear with me as I make those changes and start documenting all these new thougths and feelings as I go.

Trust me, it will be worth it.

I'm Sure You're All Wondering

2011-11-30T12:32:00.001-08:00

I'm here. I promise. I haven't dropped off the face of the earth, although sometimes it feels like I have. I have sort of become like a pioneer these days. Except I have a car. And I don't wear bonnets and crappy dresses. But, since I don't have TV hooked up yet, or internet installed yet, and I'm building fires each morning to keep me warm, I totally feel like a really modern pioneer.

The truth is, I'm working my ass off. Literally. I've lost 14 pounds since the divorce began. Now there's a good diet, though I don't really recommend it. I work at the salon in the mornings, and then I'm doing training in the evenings until 11:30 ish. 5 days a week, people. That works out to be about 60 hours a week. That is crazy. Take that, and add on the flu, and boy howdy, I'm pretty much a mess.

Thankfully I have this super short lesbian haircut to cut down on my "getting ready" time, which has really come in handy.

As for life these days, each day is different. Fly by the seat of my pants. I miss the kids in my home every day, but we're all adjusting okay I think. I miss the life I had before, but I'm enjoying the empowerment that comes from doing things myself, albeit hard and tear-filled most of the time. I miss my mom daily, more now than ever I think, but I'm so grateful for my siblings and my dad and Noma. They are all truly a blessing in my life. I know they have a hard time with the situation, but they take it all with a smile and a knowledge that I've always been a free spirit, and this is no different. They just support me,l and that's what I need.

I hope you're all doing well, and I promise I will keep up better on the blog. At least on my good days.

Happy Days To Maggie

2011-10-20T16:14:00.000-07:00

On October 7th Maggie had a birthday! And got baptized the very next day! I admit, it's hard doing the regular family things that normal families do when ours is so very different from what it used to be. But it doesn't change the fact that I love my Maggie like crazy, and I'm so proud of her and the decision she made to get baptized. She has great teachers, and Sean really worked with her to prepare her for the actual baptism. She was pretty nervous about going under the water. But it all worked, and she did a great job.

Now she's 8, I can't believe it, and she is just a sweet little lady.

All of us just moments before she was baptized. I don't know what I'm doing leaning in like a dork, but the picture taker lady kept saying to squeeze in. I think we had plenty of room. ;)

Maggie and her dad. She looked so sweet and innocent that day, as she does every other day of the year of course!

Congrats to Maggie and a very happy birthday to her! I love you, Moots!

Polar Opposite

2011-09-21T17:18:00.000-07:00

You know what? I think I might be bipolar. No, for reals. Like some days I'm on a super high high, and some days I just feel like I can't take One.More.Freaking.Thing. Is it just me, or does everyone get like that?

Oh, it's just me. Great.

But really, I think I'm doing okay considering all the changes that have happened the last few months. I have a job(s) that I love, I'm doing what I love, and I'm happy in most areas of my life. I've learned I have great kids, the best kids a gal could ever ask for, and that they are super strong. My family is amazing, and even through all the change, they realize I'm still pretty much the same old me, just version 2.0, or something close to that.

Divorce is never easy, neither is marriage. I don't recommend divorce to most people, but if it's what will make things better in the long run, it's fine. And it's funny how at the mention of the word "divorce" people instantly perk up; if they've been divorced. Now I'm part of some weird club that I never knew existed and I can be among peers that have all been there done that. It's nice. But strange.

I'm glad to know that I have great friends, and a great family, and great kids. I truly am blessed, even through so many hard things.

Doing It

2011-08-19T11:29:00.000-07:00

You know, it's hard getting divorced. It is. You'd think I would have realized this before, but until you're in the middle of it all, you don't realize all the crap that comes along with it.

This has nothing to do with me and Sean, we get along well, it has more to do with me. I've been taken care of most of my life by someone else, and I've taken it for granted all these years. This is the first time in about 20 years that I've had to stress about money and time management, and calling here and there and making sure this and that get taken care of. I've said it before, and I'll say it again....

Being a grown up is hard.

But there is an upside to all this. I feel pretty empowered knowing I can do these things on my own. The first time I used my very own debit card, and it worked, I nearly cried. The first time I called about a bill that had been paid but not shown as such, and got it taken care of, I nearly yelled in victory. I can do this. I can. I can. I can.

I keep telling myself this over and over and over.

I have to remember that there is a plan in store for me. I have hopes and dreams, and I'm not letting this little bump in the road ruin it for me. It might take me longer to get where I want to be, but I know I can still do it. And even though it's hard right now, I know it won't always be this way. This too shall pass. My mom told me this as her wise sage advice before she died, and it has become my mantra these last few months.

I'm glad to see how much my family cares about me and how much they support me. I'm lucky to have great friends who give me motivation to keep it up and keep moving forward. I'm glad I have great kids that handle this well, and will talk to me about it. And I'm glad for all the lessons I've learned up to this point in my life to prepare me for this. It's all about the plan, and doing it.

Big D

2011-07-28T20:53:00.001-07:00

Well, I'm sure the news has made it through most of the family and friends by now.
Remember how I said things were changing up? Boy howdy, are they.

Sean and I are getting divorced.

I know, I know, pick your jaw up off the floor. It happens, people. Trust me, we have worked our butts off for years making it work. But honestly, the time comes when there is just no more to give, and it's time to cut your losses.

We are great friends. Always have been. Since Kindergarten, in fact. But sadly friendship doesn't always a great marriage make. We've known for a long time that things were "off", and we've even been separated a time or two. I'm sad to have to put this all out there, but I also need to get it out of my head, because as my loyal readers know, the voices, oh! the voices, they can really be annoying.

The kids are doing okay. I think they were surprised to hear it, but not really that surprised, since they had seen us drift apart over the past few months. I'm heartbroken that they will be children of divorced parents, but I'm also empowered knowing that they can see that as adults you can still communicate with each other without fighting, and that they can still be the most important things in our lives. I hope they know how much I love them.

There is obviously more going on here than I care to discuss on the blog at this time, but trust me, I can't keep anything inside for very long, so eventually it will all come out. Just do me a favor, and be supportive, mmkay? I need to hear that it will all be okay, and that I'm still a good mom, and that my kids won't be sociopathic screw-ups because their dad and I couldn't live together.

Changing Things Up

2011-06-30T14:27:00.000-07:00

Sometimes things need to change. Not a matter of if, but of when. And sometimes those changes come at a price. Sadly, this is when you find out who really loves and supports you, and you find out who could care less.

Turns out I have a pretty awesome group of people that love me and support me.

I'm pretty dang lucky.

I'll post more details when I'm ready, but know that although so much has changed, there is still so much the same. Day to day stuff is the same. Kids are the same. Everything is basically the same. I'm still the same. But a few things are different, and it was time.

Baby?

2011-05-30T06:57:00.000-07:00

What is it about puppies and babies? My heart melts. I love them. But a baby isn't something I'm game for right now, so it looks like a puppy won out.

Welcome John Wayne. He's our new beagle. He's absolutely adorable, and I'm pretty sure he's a genius. He can already go up the stairs, jump from couch to couch, and goes right in his kennel and curls up for the night. Those are all things Bebe, our stupid Shih-Tzu could never do.

I was worried that the first night or two would be rough, with a lot of whining and crying, but he only cried for a minute before we remedied that with a night light. Not too shabby.

Now on to potty training. Oy. Not a lover of this phase, especially with all the rain we're having lately. But at least it's not winter, so I don't have to stand out in the snow! Hopefully he'll feel my angst and pick right up on it. Beagles are notoriously smart, and notoriously stubborn, so we'll see which attribute wins out first. Let's hope for smart.

Open Dialogue

2011-05-26T13:21:00.001-07:00

Around our house, we keep a very open dialogue about things. We've always taught the proper names of body parts, and keep a light yet educational mood when it comes to learning about life and our bodies.

Especially now that I have a Tween.

We tend to throw the word "Vagina" around a lot in this house. I mean, with 4 girls around, it tends to come up now and then. It comes up in the strangest places, though. Some of you know that my minivan is nicknamed the Vangina. So the kids sort of call it that, and I chuckle every now and then. Then there's the time Maggie and I were learning about China. Somehow it turned into VaChina. Yeah, so there's that. Then there's the time Maggie spilled water on her seat in the Vangina. She said it went onto her vagina, and asked if she watered it, if it would grow. That girl, she kills me.

Well, last night, Gretta got on a roll. She repeatedly had to go through the family stating who had a vagina. It was pretty hilarious, and I didn't want to scold her because I don't want her to think it's wrong, especially considering it's the correct term and all. But I don't want her to think she can just say it whenever she wants, because I know other people might not be as open about things as we are.

But for now, I'm just enjoying the innocence of a little one, and the fact that she's smart enough to know who keep the vaginas around here.

Well, The Food Storage Came In Handy

2011-05-19T19:17:00.001-07:00

So you know that the world ends on Saturday, right? Yep, it does.

I'm currently finishing up my bucket list before I kick off this sad planet and jettison somewhere much more happening.

At least I got to see the season finales of most of my shows. That's a bonus.

I've had some seriously great family time the last few months, that should tide me over for a while in the hereafter.

Dang, I had just gotten a decent clientele at work. Oh well. Whaddya do?

My food storage situation is golden. I'm pretty sure we could go 2 more days on our stores of noodles and beans.

We don't have any student loans to pay off, so that's good. Or not good. Eh, either way, I guess.

I wish I'd been able to enjoy better weather before I head into the blinding white of heaven.

I might not be going to heaven. Hmm. I should work on that. Maybe I can cram for the next two days and just skim by.

I hope they have bowling in heaven. And ice cream. And coke. And books.

I guess mostly I'll try to make the best of the next couple of days, and live like I was dyin'. Did you see how I channeled Tim McGraw there? Yeah, I'm that awesome.

Mother Of The Year

2011-05-13T09:47:00.000-07:00

One thing I've learned as I've gotten older is that I'm pretty good at being me. I might not be what others expect, but I'm me, and I'm happy with that. I'm a good wife, a good worker, and a good mother. I mean, so far I've raised 3 daughters, and none of them have died of neglect. Yet.

I do fall into the trap of comparing myself to those around me. Probably more often than I should. And I never measure up to what I think they are. But then I remember that I'm me, and I'm the best me I can be.

The other day, I was watching Studio 5, a local crappy TV show. It's basically a crappy Mormon Mommy Blog on the air. They have their fair share of "How-To's" and Fauxlebrities. This particular day, they had on Justin Hackworth. Or as I like to call him, Nie Nie's personal photographer. He takes all her pictures. He does a great job. He has recently done a project where he photographed mothers with their daughters. It was lovely. I wish I had lovely pictures of me and my mom together. But his project was a perfect segue into the next topic, which was Mother Of The Year, and Young Mother Of The Year.

My jaw hit the floor as I was so stunned that there was actually a contest for this title. I thought it was pretty clear that I already held the title. So I had to keep watching, just to see what it was all about. Apparently there really is a contest for MOTY and YMOTY. Governor Herbert appointed these women, and I had to keep watching to see how fabulous they really were.

Well.

I'll focus on the Young Mother here, just because I can relate to her more, seeing as I'm still young and whatnot. She is beautiful. Smart. Obviously a loving mother. Mormon. Blonde. Blue-eyed. Soft-spoken.

I'm all those things. Well, except not blonde anymore.

I waited to see what set her apart from all the other young mothers I know. She had a baby that died at birth. I have a friend who had that happen. Tragic. She has a husband who at a young age suffered a stroke. I have a friend who had that happen as well. So tragic. She reads scriptures to her children daily. I know lots of people that do that. She reads books to her kids. Check. I'm still sort of at a loss as to what makes her so spectacular?

And mostly I'm wondering why in the Hell someone would take a job as tiring, rewarding, personal, and intimate as motherhood and make it into a competition? Aren't we already hard enough on ourselves without being compared to those around us? Can't we all win our own personal MOTY awards?

This really got me riled up, and those of you that follow me on FB know this. I was quite offended. Not that I wasn't chosen (duh), but that so many of the wonderful amazing mothers I know weren't chosen. I feel like all of you deserve a MOTY award. We all have our own crap to deal with, and so many of you handle it with grace and dignity. I want to go down a list of qualities in my friends and readers that I admire, and that make you all Mother's Of The Year in my eyes.

Some of you are or do the following:

Patient to no end with your children.
Conscious of making sure your family eats healthy most of the time.
Run crazy lives.
Run literally. Miles and miles.
Battle cancer and win!
Deal with hardships repeatedly and quietly.
Work and go to school and mother.
Work full time as the family's supporter.
Take in children that belong to others, either short term as babysitting, or long term as foster parents.
Drive old beater cars so your kids can be involved in sports or dance or whatever.
Reach out to help neighbors and friends without even being asked.
Sacrifice anything to stay with your children.
Make life lovely along the way.

Now, don't get me wrong, I'm not bashing on the YMOTY. She deserves recognition. But so do the rest of us. I don't want to see motherhood become another tool of superiority. There is no perfect mother. There isn't. Even my own mother had her faults. And those faults are what make us all wonderful and special and deserving of our own awards.

So to all you mothers out there, you all win the Mother Of The Year award in my eyes. Keep on doing what you do best!

Curses

2011-05-10T10:13:00.000-07:00

This is a totally judge-free zone, mmmkay? Just so we're clear, I've never made any innuendo that I am actually mother of the year, it's merely a sarcastic joke. You'll see what I mean in a sec.

My name is Keli, and I'm a cusser. (This is where you all say "Hello, Keli," and nod your head approvingly at my desire to bear my soul to you.)

It's true, you know. I'm a cusser. I always have been. I remember distinctly the very first time I said a cuss word. I was in 5th grade. And it just came out. Just popped right out! I was as shocked as my friend that was on the receiving end of it. It was just a "damn", but it was significant. I still remember what it felt like, where I was standing, and even the book that was on the desk in front of me.

But honestly, 5th grade? Why was I even aware of cuss words in 5th grade? I have one answer to that. It's in my genes. My grandpa was a cusser, and my dad was a cusser. I don't think I heard my mom utter more than a few curse words in her life, and most of them were due to my misbehaving and they were usually muttered under her breath. But me? I just have it in me. It's not something I'm proud of.

I have made concerted efforts repeatedly in my life to overcome my curse word affinity, but I always fall back into the same patterns. It doesn't help that I have a bad temper. Those two character traits seem to feed on one another.

So why am I telling you this, you ask? Because I have become very aware of my use of curse words, and my bad influence on people (Jill). My kids notice, and say, "Mom, you shouldn't swear!" And I say I know, but I'm a grown up, blah blah blah. But that's no excuse. So mostly I'm just putting this out there to have it as a record for myself. I need to stop cussing. I need to work on controlling my anger. I need to be a better example to my kids and to certain people. (Jill).

Remember, this is a judge-free zone. I don't need snarky comments about how you never swear and people that do have an obviously lacking grasp of the English language, otherwise they could come up with better words than curse words. I need comments letting me know I'm not alone in my cave of curses, and that you totally get where I'm coming from, because you yourself find comfort in an occasional curse word, especially when your kids have been working your last nerve all day, and you JUST CAN'T TAKE IT ANYMORE!

See? Mother of the year, indeed.

That's what I need.

All About Women

2011-05-02T17:38:00.001-07:00

*I apologize for the length of this post sans pictures. Mostly it's just for my memory purposes. If you don't care to read all the way through, I totally get that.

Last week I had the privilege of not only attending, but being a part of, Women's Conference at BYU. I had been asked by a good friend and bowling buddy to help with the service project part of the conference. Being the giver that I am, I was anxious to help.

Let me say that I have never expressed any interest in Women's Conference. It's not something I would ever do on my own. It's just not my personality to want to better myself, or become more prepared. How can one improve upon perfection? Now if they offered a class in awesomeness, I would totally take that class. Are you sensing my sarcasm here? Because I want that to be abundantly clear. Okay.

So we had agreed to help with the Newborn Kits part of the Service Project, and attended meetings to prepare us for the work ahead. The humanitarian center people kept reminding us that it would seem a daunting task, but the women would come, and we would prepare adequate amounts of kits. We trusted them.

So Wednesday night, we headed to BYU to prepare our stations. We assembled 1,000,000 boxes. Okay, I might be exaggerating there, but it seemed like a million. I think it was somewhere around 5,000. Each box we assembled was to hold 8 newborn kits. You do the math. That's a lot of newborns getting needed supplies. We worked hard all night getting prepped. Around 10:00 we headed home, exhausted and bruised.

Thursday morning we woke up early to head to the conference. One benefit of being a volunteer is a free admission to the whole conference, so we thought we should take advantage of a few of the speakers. The first class I attended was called "Rising Above Depression". Although I remain medicated, I still struggle with symptoms of depression, and I thought this might be a good way to get a new outlook on treatment. The first speaker was excellent. She spoke about her lifelong struggle with her own depression, and even though she is well-educated, most of her life went by as if she was in a fog. That really resonated with me. She didn't get treatment and medication for her depression until her late 30's, and now she knows how hard it can be to overcome. Her thoughts were very practical; medication, therapy and a strong support group are all essential to overcome depression. The second speaker wasn't my favorite. She basically summed up her talk by saying if you're more grateful, serve more, and pray more you won't be depressed. Um, yeah, that doesn't always work. So I got a good 50% uplift out of that class.

The next class was about ordinary women doing extraordinary things. It was great. The first speaker was eh, not great, but the second speaker was phenomenal! I could have listened to her for the whole hour. I wish I was more versed in who I should and shouldn't try to fit into the packed class schedule, but next time I go, I'll definitely look her up.

That night we had the actual service project. We gathered at 4:00 for a team meeting and final preparations. The project was slated to begin at 5:00. 5:30 rolls around, and we're barely finding enough women to staff 1 station. We had 6 prepared. It wasn't looking good. I was so afraid that we'd be stuck filling all those kits on our own. But sure enough, just like the humanitarian center people promised, the women came, and before we knew it, the place was emptied out. If you want to see a great slideshow, including a rather unnerving close-up of yours truly, you can see it here. It really shows the scope of the project.

We ended the night exhausted, but very fulfilled. Honestly, I think I got more uplift from doing the service project than I did from the classes. There's just something about working physically hard, and going to bed completely beat, but knowing you've made such a difference, that makes you feel closer to God.

I'm so grateful to Tammis for asking me to be one of her helpers. I know that I was lead to be on her bowling team so this could all come about, and not just for this purpose. Tammis and Calleen have become very close friends of mine that I might otherwise never have had the pleasure of knowing. They are strong women who make me want to be better. I'll have a good bowling post coming up soon, so you'll want to stay tuned for that.

The Secret Is Out

2011-04-26T19:00:00.000-07:00

Well, the secret is out. And guess who's pregnant? Nope, not me! Ha ha ha, I bet a few of you were thinking it, though, right?

We had a trip planned to Disneyland for 2 months, and we didn't tell the kids! It was so fun having such a big secret from them, knowing how excited they would be about it! We had told them we were spending a week at Aunt Jill's, and they were pretty darn exited about that, so when we told them we were really going to Disneyland, they were even more thrilled.

If you watch the video, you can see the reaction. I'm sure glad I taped it for posterity.

So enjoy the plethora of pics!

We got to ride in the VERY front of the monorail. With the driver. It was pretty cool. Literally. He had the A/C blasting in there!

And who needs to buy those pics of yourself as you plummet to near death when you can just take a crappy cell phone picture of the screen? Notice Emma's face. And notice Maggie is crying her guts out. She was super brave, and went on Tower of Terror twice!

Ahh, Goofy. Gotta love him.

And Space Mountain. I love the look on Maggie's face. This ended up being our favorite ride. We loved it! The FASTPASS thing they have going on at Disney is such a good thing. No lines, or very little wait time, and it was pretty crowded since it was Spring break!

So check out the video. I had it all ready to go and was expecting a huge reaction from the girls. Needless to say, I had it a little overdone in my head, and I didn't get exactly what I thought I'd get from them.

We had such a good time. We were exhausted every night. Saturday morning I had to drag everyone out of bed at 6:30 so we could do an early entry at 7:00. I knew it would be so worth it to get there before everyone else. It totally was! We did Space Mountain and Dumbo and Matterhorn without waiting at all. Totally a good plan. But that afternoon we bailed early and headed back to the hotel for a rest and some swimming before spending a very late night watching fireworks and riding rides until midnight.

I'm so glad we got to do this with our kids. We told them that when dad graduates from law school, we'll go back. By that time, Emma will be, gulp, 16! Hopefully they'll still want to go at that age!

I Have A Secret

2011-04-18T14:00:00.000-07:00

Boy, howdy, do I have a secret. I am dying, DYING, I tell you. I can't reveal this secret until Thursday, and it's killing me. I've known for months now, and I just can hardly even wait 3 more days.

I'm so excited!

It's like Christmas, but better, if you can believe that!

If there was punctuation more exclamatory than an exclamation point, I would be using that instead of a measly little exclamation point. The exclamation point just doesn't do this secret justice. And also, exclamation point is nearly impossible to type correctly on the first try. Go ahead, try it. I screw it up every time.

But back to my secret. I have been so good holding it in. I haven't slipped once yet. But Sean, he is gonna blow it if he doesn't get his act together. I think certain people might be on to him, so he really needs to watch what he says for the next few days.

He might be more excited about this than I am.

But for now, I love that I have a secret, and I can't wait to see the looks on people's faces when they find out what it is!

Crap I'm Doing

2011-04-13T16:56:00.000-07:00

I feel like I should really be posting more, and as much as I hate to say it, I've just been really busy.

Lame excuse, I know.

Really, though, I have been busy. Work is crazy, but in a good way. I love my job.

Home is crazy, but all in a good way.

Sean just finished up his last semester at LDSBC, and will be starting at the U on May 16th. He has about 43 semester hours left to get his Bachelors degree, so about 3 semesters, which is like crazy fast.

I've been going through a creative phase lately, and have taken to doing various projects of no importance. I did refashion a couple of pairs of jeans from boot cut to skinny, which is super easy to do, and makes me feel like I got a new pair of jeans without spending a dime. Winning!

I have also started crocheting, which I learned for Activity Days, and I really love it. Maggie has taken to it as well, and has made lots of projects. I started a baby blanket, but now that I look at it, it sort of starts to shrink toward one end, so I need to revisit that situation.

We made some cute skirts with pockets for my nieces. Maggie also got one, and Gretta and Emma each have one coming. I also made some cute ties for my nephews, and they should be getting them soon. Emma has become quite the little seamstress.

Reading this post makes me sound like I'm living in Walnut Creek or something, but really, it's just a phase. I get this way. Soon it will be gone. Such is life.

I'll get some pics posted soon enough so you can all see the crap I've made, because I know how interesting that can be.

What I Did This Weekend

2011-04-05T10:20:00.000-07:00

Warm weather was calling. I had no choice but to give in. All the stars aligned, and my entire family was able to descend into the red rock valley to enjoy some serious pool/running/biking/baby loving/ time.

Maggie and Eli inserted themselves into the heated pool, and didn't emerge for the entire day. That is not an exaggeration. The.Entire.Day they spent swimming and jumping and splashing. They were sunburned and exhausted. It was awesome.

Emma was a little more trepidatious about getting in, but once she did, she was in heaven. I think she spent most of the afternoon running between the pool and the trampoline. She doesn't sunburn, lucky girl, so now she just has a gorgeous tan going on. With that blond hair, I'm in trouble in her teen years, I'm afraid.

Sean and Jill chatting it up in the wonderful huge kitchen. This house was amazing, and there wasn't a shortage of space for all 21 of us. Now that's saying something. We had a huge breakfast on Sunday morning, and Sean and Jill somehow ended up being in charge of it. Hmm, I think that might have something to do with the bacon that was involved.

Poor Meg. She's not this blurry in real life, I'm pretty sure. I sort of just called her name and clicked this picture. He he he. Sorry Meg. She has one of the 2 cutest babies to ever grace our family this year. Elliott loved the ceiling fan in the living room, and even though she was spitting up quite a bit, there was never a moment when she wasn't being held and cuddled by someone in the family. She is growing so fast, and I love her so much, I could just eat her!

We had such a good time. I spent all day Saturday lying by the pool with my Hawaiian Tropic oil slathered on, and a cold ice water next to me. Around 5 o'clock, I got showered and dressed so we could start dinner. I was pretty burned, but I knew it would turn into a tan. It has. But I also had to show off for some teenage boys, and pull out the magnificent backflip skills I acquired as a kid. Turns out, that trampoline doesn't have the appropriate amount of bounce it takes to propel my large body backwards and completely around. Things didn't go so well. I've been walking around like a robot, unable to turn my head for 2 days. But it was worth it. I should just learn that I'm meant to be a pool side tanner, not a back flip trampoliner.

Schooling At Home

2011-03-29T11:44:00.000-07:00

I thought I better write something about our homeschooling. I know so many people are interested in how/ why we do it, and I forget sometimes that not everyone understands the draw behind our decision.

Maggie has pretty severe anxiety, and though it is much better now that it has been, public school just wasn't working for her. She was a great student. Quiet, obedient, and never a trouble maker. But she also got overlooked a lot because of her sweet demeanor. You know, the squeaky wheel and all that jazz.

So we homeschool now, and have been for almost a year. We chose to use Washington Online School, which uses the K12 curriculum. The reason I chose this was because I felt like I needed a little bit of structure to my homeschooling, at least at first, and this provided exactly what I needed. We have a schedule of lessons, and though we can do them as fast or slow as we'd like, there is a time line that most parents follow, that coincides with the public school schedule. We basically do school every day, though there are some weeks when I just don't get to it every day, so we make up a lot of days. Ahh, flexibility.

School takes us anywhere from 15 minutes on an easy math day, to over an hour on a more intense reading day. Maggie chooses what she wants to do each day. Some days we only do math. Some days she only wants reading. Some days she wants to do every subject. We have the flexibility to do that. Sort of like public school. They don't do every subject every day, at least not in elementary school.

I know some of you are like, "but what do you do with her the rest of the day?" Good question. I let her learn. She is so good at learning, she does it without even knowing it. Today for example, she printed off some pages of a story book of pictures, and then wrote the words to the story. She made it all up, and it was great. She uses big words, which I don't remember teaching her, and she does this all on her own. She also watches a lot of TV. Yeah, I know. Mother of the year here, but it's good TV. Granted, there is plenty of Disney Channel on at my house, but there is also a lot of Martha Speaks, and Word World, and NatGeo, all of which are great learning opportunities without the kids even realizing they're learning.

I know a lot of moms that say they couldn't be around their kids all day, and that sending them to school is a way to stay sane. I totally get that. There are plenty of days when I just want some alone time, or time to do the laundry or dishes, or even to sweep the floor and have it stay clean for more than 3 minutes. But I consider myself pretty lucky that for the most part, I love being around Maggie. She is silly, and talented, and very easy to hang out with.

I've tried to talk Emma into doing homeschool next year, but she has no interest in it, and I'm fine with that. I loved middle school, and I know she will too. I also have no qualms about sending Maggie to public school if she ever wants to go. It would be a hard transition for me, but we'll cross that bridge when we get there.

So that's how we do it. It's fun, and it works for us. I know it's not for everyone, but when it comes to knowing what your kids need, moms have a gift for giving them exactly what will make them become the best people they can be. And if homeschooling is it, then so be it.

The Eastern Ones

2011-03-21T10:11:00.000-07:00

Friday night we decided it was time to actually go out and do something fun. I don't know what it was about this last week, but it seemed particularly brutal. Not for any specific reason, just generally busy and crazy, but that's nothing new around here. So we thought we'd treat ourselves to something we'd never done before.

We hooked up with some friends, whom we've been trying to get together with for months, but things just keep coming up. They are great fun, and they like Indian food. So we went along, because we're sheepish, and we follow what our friends tell us to do.

I'm asking you, why haven't we had Indian food until now? Why? It's delicious! Emma's best friend in Chicago was Indian, and we had dinner with them once, and she made pizza. Indian food fail. But this time, I actually went out on a limb and ordered something I knew would look disgusting, but it was delicious. Chicken Saag. Mmmmm. Green slimy cooked spinach with chunks of chicken over basmati rice. A little Naan, and I was good to go!

Problem with Indian food is that although delicious and very aromatic, the spices infiltrate your clothes and leave you and all your accessories smelling like Indian food. My phone smelled like it the next day. My necklace did too. Weird.

So next time we go to Taste of India, I'm wearing a rubber suit, and ordering the Chicken Saag with cheese Naan.

Green River

2011-03-17T11:56:00.001-07:00

3 years ago this day, my family flew out to Chicago so we could spend a girls weekend together. It was such a fun trip! We went to the city and saw Wicked, which would be awesome anywhere, but thanks to my snafu, we got to take a tour of the theater before the play started, so that made it even better. We rode the Metra to town, and at 10:00 in the morning, people were already dressed to the 9's in green couture, and guzzling beers like they were going out of style.

It was good times.

We ate at Peterino's, one of my all-time favorite places, and grabbed some Garrett's popcorn to munch on for the train ride home. We indulged in Chicago style pizza, tres leches cake, and great Mexican food. We worked out with the neighbor ladies, and watched Gracie take a couple of her first steps. It was such a fun weekend.

We also got to see the Chicago River turned green. It's amazing to see. It's not just a grayish icky green like you'd imagine, it's bright green and shocking. My mom thought that was pretty cool.

This weekend holds special significance to me, because this was the last weekend I saw my mom healthy. When I vacationed back to Utah that June, she was already feeling sick, and then in 6 short weeks she was gone.

I'm so grateful I had this weekend with her. She got to see where we lived, and that we were adjusting fine. She got to see the kids and see that they had made friends and were doing well in school. I think that really helped her, knowing we were okay that far away.

She was an amazing lady, and I know that now more than ever. I miss her everyday, but today I miss her more, thinking back on that fun day in Chicago when she out-speed-walked us all to catch the train, and her laughing at the caricatures on the wall at Peterino's.

More Medical Things

2011-03-16T10:50:00.000-07:00

Below is a pretty graphic image. I have to give you fair warning. If you have a weak stomach, don't bother scrolling down.

Maggie had an ingrown toenail removed 3 weeks ago. It was infected, and the podiatrist went ahead and removed the ingrown part, and chemically "killed" the matrix on that part of her toe to prevent it from growing back again. A simple in-office procedure that took about 30 minutes.

He said after 2 weeks, it should be fine, but during that time, it would look red and weepy. It did. We did the required daily soaks in Epsom Salts, and changed the bandage. Things were looking good, according to what he told me.

After 2 weeks, I went to change the bandage. I admit, I hadn't changed it the day before, but since it was nearly healed, I didn't think too much about it. When I removed the bandage, I was shocked with a horrible smell. Not like a stinky foot kind of smell. A rotting flesh kind of smell. Then I peeled off the bandage, and saw a red, wet, swollen toe, with flesh peeling off.

It wasn't pretty.

I was pretty sure it wasn't supposed to look like that. So I took Maggie into her pediatrician. He was shocked with what he saw. He immediately took a swab to send off a culture, and ordered a shot of Penicillin. He also prescribed 3 times daily oral antibiotics until we could get the culture back and see exactly what we were dealing with.

I was pretty scared. He said it was probably just a Staph infection, but he needed to make sure it wasn't Pseudomonas, a more serious problem.

The next day, it looked worse, more flesh peeling off, and the smell. Oh! The smell! So I took her back in, and sure enough, he needed to drain it off, and give her a betadine soak to kill off some the the infection. He said he was certain at that point that she would lose her nail, possibly permanently, and if if the culture came back with the Pseudomonas, we would have to talk about possibly taking the toe.

Wha????

You can't wear flip flops (thongs) without a big toe!

So the next day we get the call, and sure enough, it's Staph. Phew. A huge sigh of relief. Now it has been a week of antibiotics, and I'm glad to report it looks so much better. The nail is still hanging on, and the skin isn't wet and red. It has taken on a more crusty brown color. But that's what we want.

I'm glad she gets to keep her toe, because I hate bending down to tie shoes, especially in the summer.

Scroll down for the before picture. It's pretty nasty. It was taken the first day in the doctors office. The second day pictures are much worse. I'll spare you those images.

Buy Local

2011-03-14T19:48:00.001-07:00

As a small (very small) business owner, I have first-hand knowledge of how important it is to buy locally. I've taken to spending more money in small one-man-band sort of shops rather than Wal-Mart, though I do still have a love-hate relationship with the Mart. I hope the shop owners appreciate this, because I know I sure appreciate the clients that bypass the various chain hair chop shops to come and see me, and keep me in business.

So in this vein, I decided when it came time to order new business cards, I would get away from the generic Vistaprint cards I've used in the past, and try a local gal that does great work. She has designed my sisters baby announcements, (the pictures came from here, she's my cousin, and very talented. Seriously, click those links, you won't be disappointed, I promise.) and she has always done a wonderful job. Plus, then I don't end up with the exact same business cards as two other gals in my shop. True story. Lame.

These are the finished product. I love them. They are cute, but not cutesy. Fun, but not immature. And this time they have all the correct information on them. My Vistaprint cards were ordered before the website, and before I had a physical address I wanted to advertise. These are much better.

So remember, there is always someone you know that has a talent they are trying to pursue. Or they know someone that knows someone. It never hurts to ask around before hopping online and becoming a number in a queue of thousands of faceless customers. Keep it local. Keep it small. And keep a business in business.

Medical Things

2011-03-11T15:34:00.000-08:00

Sean is upstairs sleeping. He's in a Lortab and residual Propofol induced happy place. He's cute when he's sleeping.

He had hernia surgery again today. See, the last time he had his hernia fixed, and his boy parts became larger than normal as a funny side effect, the doctor did a medial abdominal incision. Well, about 3 weeks after his surgery, he noticed that incision had started to feel strange. It was large and soft. Over the next few months, it got bigger (and grosser), and he decided to get it checked out. Well, turns out the incision from his previous hernia surgery had herniated. Go figure.

So he had the new hernia fixed this morning. We had to be in at 5:30, and we were home at 8:30. Pretty slick operation they have going over there at the South Towne Surgical Center. Much better than a yucky stuffy hospital.

I'm sure he's feeling better than after his last surgery, at least he can sit down without worrying about sitting on anything of importance. Wink wink. And considering he came home this morning and promptly cooked up bacon and eggs for breakfast, I can tell you I'm pretty sure he'll be better soon.

Jogging and Thongs

2011-03-07T10:56:00.000-08:00

I was lying awake one night, I seem to have caught my mom's penchant for early morning SVU reruns, and I was composing what seemed like a pretty hilarious blog post. It was 4 AM. Lots of things seem different at 4 AM.

But I still think it's pretty clever, if not hilarious. And at least it's a post, no?

So I took Emma out for a little run the other day. She's a trooper. She likes to run, and she likes to take walk breaks, which is totally fine with me. It got me thinking back to when I was kid, and my dad used to take us jogging with him once in a while. What ever happened to jogging? Just the word conjures up images of leisurely running by neighbors and waving a hearty "Hello!", then returning to a prancing gallop down the street.

Suddenly now it's become running. Running and keeping track of our heart rate and our distance to the step. Running and carrying water bottles and gel packs. Running and getting so focused on our breathing and our stride and our playlist shoved into our ears, so we don't even notice our friendly neighbors as we pass.

I miss jogging. I think I'm going to bring back jogging.

The other things I miss are thongs. Ah, thongs that you could wear to the beach, or around town. Now thongs are something completely different, although I'm sure you could still wear them to the beach and around town.

Mostly I miss the way things used to be. Slower pace, simpler, more down home. Now we deal with email and traffic and the hustle and bustle of getting through each day in one piece.

If you see me out jogging in my thongs, you'll understand that I'm just trying to get back to my roots.

March On

2011-03-01T07:50:00.000-08:00

I can't really express to you how excited I am to finally be in the month of March. This morning as I took Emma to school, she commented on how many birds were around. It's a wonderful sign! Spring won't be long off now, I'm sure.

This also means Sean only has 1 month left of this semester, which I know he'll be glad to have behind him. Turns out a 20 year gap between Calculus classes can make for a bit of a challenge. Next semester will be at the University Of Utah, and into his accounting program, which will be a nice change from having to take all the odd prerequisites like Basic Computers and Health and Nutrition.

March also reminds me that it's been nearly a year since I went back to doing hair. How this year has flown! I've made so many friends and wonderful clients, and I'm reminded each day how much I love my job. I'm very grateful I have this skill to use to support my family.

On a bit of less exciting note, I have officially failed at my first 2 months of running 26.2 miles. Wow. What a bummer. But I'm not giving up! I'm keeping my running log over there on my sidebar, and I'm sure one of these months I'll actually hit my goal. Now that the inversion is clearing and the weather is warming up, I'll have 2 less excuses for not going.

All in all, I'm pretty ready to get my March on. Can't you tell?

The Haps

2011-02-21T19:40:00.000-08:00

You know, I really don't have much to blog about these days. No pregnancies, no tragedies, no excitement at all really. And I don't mind. I do have a couple of funny things going on though, and I'm all about the funny.

Sean is about 12 hours into a 10 day cleanse. You might know it, the Master Cleanse. He's miserable and bitchy, and I think it's pretty dang funny. Because I'm mean like that. He needs a diet coke in a bad way, and I just keep telling him I know he can push through the pain. Maybe I'm not mean. I'm supportive.

Gretta buckled herself into Elliott's bouncy seat today, then walked around with it on her back all morning. She thought she was so clever. I remember like yesterday (seriously, wasn't it just yesterday?) when she would sit all swaddled up in her own bouncy seat so she could take a nap. She had a binky and a helmet and she was the cutest little thing.

I colored Meg's hair dark today! It was awesome! It took us three processes; one to fill, one to color, and one to highlight. But we did all that, plus a cut and style in about 2 hours. Pretty slick stuff. It looks adorable. Will all the Noorda girls go dark eventually? Perhaps.

We had a really fun dinner tonight. Meg and Josh and Elliott were here, and we all made soups and Kelli made rolls, and we had dad and Noma over for the evening. It was so nice to be together all as a family. I think we're all sort of getting more comfortable with our new normal, and I'm so grateful for that. I love my family. I love that they love me, even when I say stupid things, and totally embarrass myself. That happens a lot.

So that's about it these days. I need to get running more, and I need to get taking more pictures. My life really isn't this boring, there are a lot of days that I leave in the morning, and don't return until dinner time, but it's very day to day mundane stuff that isn't really blog worthy. But that's okay, I guess.

Loves

2011-02-14T14:30:00.000-08:00

Today is Valentime's Day. I love that my kids call it that. Well, not so much love, as despise, but I'm trying to have a good attitude.

Don't worry, my bad attitude is back already. One paragraph was hard enough.

This day makes me think of all the things I love. So many things. Love is hard to contain.

I love my family first and foremost. All of them. I hope they love me back, because I'm nuts, and hard to love.

I love my job. I get to make people look and feel pretty, and that makes me feel pretty darn good about myself.

I love homeschooling. Never thought I'd be saying that!

I love crab legs. It's been too long since I last had them. It's time.

I love baths that are so hot it makes the sweat run into my eyes.

I love my electric blanket.

I love blogging and facebook and twitter.

I love having options at this point in my life. Instead of being stuck on the hamster wheel of corporate America, we have a lot of choices ahead of us, and we can pretty much choose whatever path we'd like.

I love looking back at a year ago, and two years ago, and seeing progress.

Valentime's day is supposed to be all about love. And right now, I'm pretty much feeling the love.

Why I Don't Ride The Bus

2011-02-11T09:24:00.000-08:00

When I was a kid, when we would go off-track, (that's a year-round school thing for those of you not in the know) my mom and a bunch of us neighbor kids would all take a day and ride the bus downtown. She did this with us because her mom used to do that with her. It was quite a big deal back in the day. They would don their nicest hat and gloves, and they would pay their $0.5, and ride the one and only bus that ran at that time. While downtown, they would shop, and my mom's mom would always let them get a candy bar, and sometimes a new dress.

See? Big deal.

So we did that when we were kids. We would put on our nicest shorts and sandals, pay our $0.25 to one of the two buses that ran that day, and head downtown. We would always eat lunch, and usually score a couple of outfits. My mom was nice like that.

See? Also a big deal.

So tomorrow I'm taking Maggie on a date. We are going downtown, and I thought I would take her on the bus. Not the train, we're old hats at the train, but the actual bus bus. So I started looking at places to catch the bus. Then I realized every bus (there are like 12 in Riverton now), stops at the train station. But I don't want to go to the train. So I started using the Itinerary link on the UTA website.

It doesn't work. So I called the number. It doesn't work either.

How am I supposed to know where to catch the bus and what time? Seriously, UTA, get your act together. It's no wonder no one rides the bus anymore. You have made it frustrating and inconvenient. And how are good mothers like me supposed to carry on the traditions of our mothers if you make it so difficult to find our way around?

I might just have to resort to driving. But I really want to ride the bus. Or do I?

In The Middle

2011-02-09T10:20:00.000-08:00

This week we have quite a milestone. We have middle school orientation.

I'm so not ready for this.

I've been dreading the day my kid goes off to middle school, practically since the day she was born. I remember it like it was yesterday.

Lots of good memories, some bad ones, but mostly good.

Still, I am having major reservations about her walking into that giant school, her being a little bitty thing for a prospective 7th grader. All those 8th and 9th graders will look so much bigger than her, and I'm sort of associating bigger with meaner. I don't know why I'm doing that.

She's a good girl, she has good friends, and she makes good choices, so I don't really need to worry about her. But my mother bear instinct is really strong, and I just want to protect her from all the things she'll see from this point on in her life.

Homeschool is an option, but not one I'm putting much stock in. She isn't really interested in that right now, and I can't say I blame her.

Can someone please make time stop? Maybe for just a year? Or a day? I'd even take a day.

Backseat

2011-02-06T20:33:00.000-08:00

Is it just me, or have blogs become old fashioned?

I used to picture my blog as a sleek new toy that everyone envied. A place where I could spew my thoughts and troubles and life lessons in a safe, public environment. Does one preclude the other? Perhaps, but it felt good either way.

Now I sort of picture my blog to be a flip phone version of what it used to be. You know, it's still useful for certain, if not limited, purposes, but for the most part it only does one thing. It's starting to look more and more like the brick phones of the early 90's.

Has Facebook taken over where blogs once reigned supreme? Honestly to me, it sort of has, and I'm saddened by that. I like reading back through my old posts, that are neatly sorted by date, rather than having to search page by page through old Facebook updates. So in that respect, I would rather blog. But blogs are technologically cumbersome. You have to type in a blog address. So much wasted time. Where as Facebook is a one-stop shop for all life's need-to-know moments.

I'm not saying my blog is falling to the wayside permanently, but as you can tell, it has definitely taken a back seat. If you just can't live without my witty comments on the ups and downs through life, find me and friend me on Facebook. Or just learn to live with the sporadic posts on this blog, which are few and far between as of late. It's a sad day, but I feel like it's time to go that direction. Sniff sniff.

Bigger Isn't Always Better

2011-02-01T09:50:00.000-08:00

Yesterday I had to have my eyes dilated. Maggie giggles every time she hears the word "dilated". She's obsessed with babies and labor and delivery. It's creepy, but she knows a lot about it, so I guess that's good. But I digress.

I had to get my eyes dilated. First time ever. Not fun. I had no idea how crazy weird it is to have your eyes messed with. But it was pretty necessary, so I'll tell you my story.

I woke up, just like any regular day, but when I stood up, I noticed flashing silvery lights creating a halo effect in the very middle of my vision out of my left eye. Kind of like when you stand up too fast, and the blood rushes out of your head? It was like that. But it didn't go away. In fact, after a shower and doing my hair, it was getting worse. I had completely lost my peripheral vision on my left side, and the silvery halo was still there. It was giving me a headache.

We called Moran Eye Center, just to see what they said about it, and the nurse said that is a sign of a retinal tear or detachment, and that it warranted immediate care. I was totally freaking out at this point. So we headed up to the U, and got in to see the eye doctor. After a battery of tests, all of which freak me out because I have serious eyeball gross-out issues, it was confirmed that I did not have a retinal tear or detachment. Thank goodness.

So I had a little chat with the Neuro Ophthalmologist, and we concluded it was most likely what they call an ophthalmic migraine.

Basically, it's like when some people get migraines, they get the weird auras and light sensitivity right before the pain sets in. Only with this kind of migraine, all it is is the auras. I guess it's pretty common, but I had never heard of this in my life. It lasted a good 6 hours, and then as it subsided, I was left with a groggy, heavy feeling like I had been run over by a truck. It wasn't my best moment.

But really, all in all, I would take the auras and lights over having my pupils dilated to the size of baseballs any day. Not being able to read (Facebook), and the searing blinding sunlight really turned me off. I like my regular sized pupils, thankyouverymuch, but I am grateful for the technology that allows the doctors to see things like detached retinas and whatnot.

Today I'm fine. No more auras, no flashing lights and not too much light sensitivity. But I do need to keep an eye out ( ha ha) for another attack, because apparently once you get one, you are very prone to more. Weird.

One Word

2011-01-24T12:23:00.001-08:00

I've reached the end of my blog motivation, which has led me to take drastic measures. I'm participating in a one-word meme, if not to give you an insight into my exciting life, at least to fill in a day of blogging.

Enjoy.

1. Where is your cell phone? Pocket

2. Your most significant other? School

3. Your hair? Brown

4. Your mother? Heaven

5. Your father? Handsome

6. Your favorite? Family

7. Your dream last night? Nope

8. Your favorite drink? Coke

9. Your dream/goal? Happy

10. What room you are in? Dining

11. Your hobby? Facebook

12. Your fear? Failure

13. Where do you want to be in 6 years? Done!

14. Where were you last night? In-Laws

15. Something that you aren't? Shy

16. Muffins? Top

17. Wish list item? Car

18. Where you grew up? Utah

19. Last thing you did? Text

20. What are you wearing? Clothes

21. Your TV? Disney

22. Your pets? Nope

23. Friends? The best!

24. Your life? Crazy

25. Your mood? Bitchy

26. Missing someone? Mom, always

27. One place that I go to over and over? McDonalds

28. Something you want: Graduation

29. Your favorite store? Kohls

30. Your favorite color? Pink

So there you go. Nothing too exciting, but if you want to participate, go here and link up.

It's A Girl

2011-01-22T18:08:00.000-08:00

That title got your attention, huh?

Gotcha.

This is all about my Gretta, my baby, the one and only fetus of which we knew the sex, turning 4 years old today.

She got a new bike and a new helmet. She was in heaven. She said "Thank you" a million times today. It was adorable.

She also got a new snowglobe. The one she had from Christmas broke, and she was devastated. Emma was very thoughtful and found this one for her at the hospital gift shop. (That's a whole nother post.)

I can't believe my baby is 4. Where has the time gone? She was once a sweet, wriggling mass of babyness, and now she is a preschooler, and a stinker.

I miss those days of she and I chilling at home, her in her helmet, me in my, well, not helmet. I miss her crazy flailing arms and her pterodactyl scream. I miss her crawling, her crib full of stuffed animals, and the swish of her diaper as she toddled around the house. Those days pass so quickly, it's hard to remember what the day to day life was like back then.

Now I love having her as my eternal sidekick, always intent on being right in the middle of whatever I'm doing. I love that she'll talk and talk, and talk, and then suddenly be asleep, practically mid sentence. I love that she can buckle her own seat belt! I love that she will get dressed by herself, and help herself to my cookie stash under my nightstand. I love that she loves to fall asleep in my bed at night, and that she will tell me she has "logged off" the computer when she's done playing.

She is such a big girl, and a great helper. I love having her home with me and Maggie to keep us both company. She is a great little sister, and I'm lucky to have her.

Happy birthday, Gigi. We love you!

Just When Things Are Running Smoothly

2011-01-18T19:16:00.000-08:00

So as you can see on my side bar over there <----, I have successfully logged some miles for this month. Yay for me.

Boo for injuries resulting from said mileage.

It would seem that despite my best efforts at being a trooper and buckling down and getting my happy ass out the door to run and complete my goal, I have suffered a strain to my Peroneal Tendons.

I need to reiterate, this has no affiliation whatsoever with the Perineal anything. Totally different part of the body.

But this stinking injury has really put me in a mood. Now I can hardly walk, let alone run, and I just know I'll miss my goal for this month. The first month in, and I'll fail. What a way to start off the year. Bummer.

But I also know that unless I take it easy and let this thing heal appropriately, I'll be battling it all year, and that would be worse.

So I'm giving myself a pass on this one. I'm gonna bow out of January gracefully, and let myself pick up when I've healed fully. I know, I know, it seems like I'm just one of those people that sets goals and then doesn't follow through. I totally am, by the way, but not this time. I'll take whatever mileage I'm lacking at the end of January, and divide it into the remaining months, so when the year is all said and done, I will still have completed the initial amount of miles.

Win win. Good and good.

Because I'm Totally Failing

2011-01-14T13:27:00.000-08:00

As you may notice, I have accumulated exactly 0 miles toward my goal of running 26.2 miles this month. I'm a winner. First month in and I'm already failing.

I have lots of good excuses, though. This reminds me of an ancient Chinese proverb that Sean reminds me of repeatedly.

"Excuses are like butt holes. Everyone has one, and they all stink."

Ahh, poetry.

In an attempt to quell the voices of failure that are rampant in my head right now, I am actually doing something good for my body. I am currently, as we speak, presently, eating a cup of fruit.

Eating would be a word I'm using loosely, because mostly I'm gagging it down one piece at a time.

I searched out a specific kind of fruit cup, the ones that are being advertised as being packed in 100% juice, because I thought they would be easier to eat than the ones packed in ooey gooey syrupy ick.

Turns out, the juice packed ones aren't making it that much easier on my fruit-phobic palate.

But it is thwarting the failure feeling inside me by distracting the voices from saying "nee nee nee nee nee, we knew you couldn't do it!" to a glom of confusion with this new healthy snack.

Just when I think the voices have triumphed, they are the ones that are failing! Take that, voices! Ha!

Angry Beavers

2011-01-11T08:51:00.000-08:00

Obviously blogging wasn't one of my new years resolutions. I figure that takes away a feeling of failure for the time when my blogging is sparse.

Like now.

I really feel like I have nothing to post about. My days are busy, but not in the way others would percieve as fun or exciting. I wake up, get Emma off to school, watch a little news or New Adventures Of Old Christine (of which I've seen every episode, but still love), get dressed, do school with Mags, make lunch, go to work, come home, eat dinner, go to bed.

See, super exciting.

One new development is my anger issues. I don't know if it's the weather or what, but lately the littlest thing sets me off. I've always had a little anger problem, but my happy pills usually keep it at bay for the most part. Maybe it's because I'm working a lot and not running (yucky inversion!) that's making me angry. Maybe I just need to have a good attitude adjustment. Maybe it's my delayed reaction to things that happen in my life.

Whatever it is though, I've got to work on it. I've tried harder the last couple of days to be more patient with my kids and let the little things slide by. I've made an effort to pay attention to my thoughts when I start getting that angry feeling to see what the heck I can do to calm the crazy voices in my head.

*Just so we're clear, I'm not really hearing voices. No I'm not. No, I'm not, I swear.

So if you see me at the grocery store or the library and I have a larger than normal scowl on my face, just disregard it, and pretend you don't see me. Trust me, you're probably better off that way.

And lets pray for an early Spring, mmkay?

From Whence I Came

2011-01-06T14:20:00.000-08:00

So my Emma, being an old soul like she is, has suddenly taken to the idea of finding out more about her ancestry. I, being basically repelled by the idea of genealogy, tried my darndest to keep putting her off. She asked if we could go to the family history library that just opened up near our house. Lucky for me it was closed during Christmas break. Then she asked again last night. I was pretty sure it closed at 5, but I looked it up for her anyway.

To her delight, and my chagrin, it was open until 9.

So we loaded her up in the car, Maggie tagging along, and she brought her papers with some family names from Grandma's side of the family.

We walked in, and it felt so, like, well, a library. It wasn't like I thought it would be. I had envisioned a musty dimly lit room with decrepit old men hunched over old dusty books with their beards dangling into the words, with their canes and walkers perched nearby. There were no old men like that, just so you know.

We had a super nice Sister Missionary come and help us get started, and she told Emma she began having an interest in her family history at about Emma's age. We searched and found quite a bit of information, which I won't bore you with here. Emma was starstruck. She wants to go back tonight. I think we need more info before we go again, but she doesn't care. She just wants to keep searching and searching.

I find it completely astonishing that a girl as young as Emma could have such a vision to want to know her ancestors. I always knew about mine on both sides, but after doing so much searching, I realized she doesn't really know her great grandparents on Grandmas side. Knowing how special Grandpa Hashbarger was, I find a renewed importance to let Emma understand that she comes from an amazing past.

I always knew my kids would challenge me, but I never realized they would teach me more than I could teach them.

I Resolve

2011-01-01T04:24:00.000-08:00

Well, it's that time of year again. The time when we all make promises to ourselves that we're certain we won't keep, thus leading to immense feelings of guilt and failure. Sort of like the reason I don't send out Christmas cards, remember?

There was a time, a long time ago it seems, that I made a resolution for the new year, and it actually worked. I resolved to read each Ensign from start to finish for the entire year. I did it. I really did. I gained a new perspective on things, and it made me feel like a better person.

Then there was last year. Last year when all my hopes and dreams and aspirations basically seemed to go to Hell amidst one of life's largest upheavals. Not a good year for resolutions.

So this year I'm back on track. Literally.

I resolve to run 26.2 miles each month for 2011. I've done it once before, so I know I can do it. But I've had a few setbacks, what with the appendix out and the rib dislocation. I know to all you hard core runners that seems like a cake walk, and it really works out to be less than a mile a day. The theory I'm sticking with is aim low, then I can achieve and feel good about reaching my goal. Then maybe next time I'll aim a little higher and know I can do better. It's like a sort of stair step thing, see how that works?

So there, I've resolved to all the internets and all my readers, so I must be held accountable. I will (try to) put a mileage counter on my blog and update it as I go, which I think will be pretty cool, especially as the year winds down and I can look back at all the mileage I've completed. Hopefully I'll learn something through all this, and possibly lose a pound or two along the way.

Twas Merry, As They Say

2010-12-30T13:31:00.000-08:00

Christmas came. It was fun. Now it's over. Enjoy these grainy cell phone pics, because I totally forgot to charge my camera the night before. Yep, again, mother of the year right here.

All the girls showing off their matchy matchy jammies they get from Mrs. Claus on Christmas Eve.

Gretta opened her first gift, promptly took the wrapping paper to the garbage, and sat down waiting for permission to open the rest of the gifts. It didn't take her long to get the hang of just ripping into them after that, though.

Maggie enjoying the the Easy Bake Oven she received. Oh joy. Plasticy tasting mini cookies and cakes that take teeny tiny parts to use.

Emma in the throes of gift unwrapping. She got a sewing machine, and she is actually pretty good at it!

So that was Christmas. I'm glad it's over. Now it's time to get the house in order and get on with things.

Merry Christmas Letter

2010-12-24T15:18:00.000-08:00

Hello friends and family,

Instead of sending out Christmas cards this year, I've decided to write a letter detailing every minute detail of our mundane lives. That sounds like so much fun, right? Right. Here we go.

Beginning in January, we found ourselves back home in the Motherland, also known as Utah. Sean was beginning school at LDS Business College, and the girls were going to school with Grandma at Eastlake Elementary. We were living with Sean's parents, and plugging along with our new lives.

February met us with crazy cold and snow, unlike anything I've seen in Utah, and a lot more like what I was used to in Illinois. I got a little homesick for my life there, but I was also very glad to be back with family. School continued, and life was good. I also found out I was going to be an aunt again with Jill expecting her 5th baby! I was thrilled!

March was a welcome month, bringing the prospect of Spring, and warmer weather. Sean was wrapping up school, and hoping for a 4.0. The girls were off track, and thought that was pretty neat to have a long vacation from school.

April brought more changes, still. Sean was home from school, having just missed his 4.0 by this much. We moved into my Dad's old house, and I pulled Maggie out of school to begin homeschooling her. I also started a business doing hair again, and things were trying to get off the ground.

May was a great month to enjoy Spring weather. Emma was looking forward to Summer since Maggie was already enjoying some serious time off, and Gretta was enjoying having a friend around to play with. I was working here and there, and it was nice to be back behind the chair. We enjoyed a long weekend vacation with Meg and Josh to Lake Mead, which was a lot of fun. I could literally feel the winter melting off me while we were there.

June was the official beginning of Summer, and we started it off by getting annual passes to Lagoon. We had originally intended to buy passes to Six Flags again, but good thing we procrastinated, because those would have done us no good here in Utah. Lagoon was a great distraction for us throughout the summer, since Sean was going a little stir crazy being at home and not working or going to school, and I was only working a couple of days a week.

July was spent enjoying family and friends. Sean's brother and his family returned to Utah after living in Brazil for 2 years, and we loved having their kids around. My sister came up from Vegas and stayed with us several times, and we always love having her. We also found out that Meg was expecting, and I was thrilled to have a new niece or nephew coming to our family.

August was hot and long. My birthday came and went, and now I'm another year older, yet no wiser. Sean was looking forward to school beginning again, and I was working hard. I also ran 26 miles that month, and I was loving the running life.

September brought our summer adventures to a close. We certainly made the most of it, though. I think we counted at least 20 visits to Lagoon. Those passes were worth every penny. The kids really got brave there toward the end of the season, going on upside-downy rides, and learning to wait in line without mom or dad there to help them. We were all nice and tan from our times at Lagoon-A-Beach, and tired from a lot of walking. I also became an Aunt again; Jill had her baby girl, named Elsie, and she is fat and yummy and it takes all my self control to not eat her.

October was a fun month for all of us. Sean was back in school and working hard, and I was working very hard, and thinking of making a change in my work situation. I was ready to grow the business more, and I needed more room. By the end of the month, I was officially moving into a new building, and renting a space all my own. I was thrilled. Unfortunately, during the month, I also had to have my appendix out, which really threw me for a loop. Trying to move things while recovering from surgery can be tricky. Luckily, I recovered just fine, and the move to the new place went off without a hitch.

November brought thoughts of Thanksgiving and other family adventures. One good thing we had happen was my Dad and Noma getting sealed in the temple. We were all there, and it was nice to see them so happy. We spent Thanksgiving weekend with Jill in Vegas, and it was a nice new tradition. We did major Black Friday shopping, and even though it was colder than normal, it was still warmer than Utah! Emma was in 6th grade and loving it, and Sean was in the throes of schoolwork, wrapping up the finishing touches for his business transfer degree. Maggie and I were doing homeschool, and she was thriving, just like I knew she would.

December brought the one year anniversary of Sean getting laid off, his 35th birthday, Christmas, and our anniversary. A busy month for sure. We didn't celebrate his lay-off day, of course, but we did celebrate his birthday with a nice dinner out, and a stay at Little America for the night. This is also known as our North Pole trip, since we wrap up our Christmas shopping at the same time. Sean finished up school, and although he could be done at LDSBC, he has chosen to stay one more semester to gain his accounting degree, rather than a transfer degree. I think he will fare better in the future with 2 solid degrees beneath him. Christmas is upon us, and I'm looking forward to being here this year to celebrate with our families. On December 3oth, we'll celebrate our 13th wedding anniversary. My how time has flown!

I hope you aren't too terribly bored, I tried to keep it to the bare minimum. And let's face it, my life just isn't that exciting. I hope you all have a Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year!

Props

2010-12-20T19:25:00.001-08:00

I'm exhausted. My feet hurt, my ribs hurt, and my back is sore. I had to work (dramatic tone, here) all day.

Insert tiny violins here.

Don't get me wrong, I love working. I love my job so much! I look forward to each and every day. Knowing that I have a talent to make people feel good about themselves really gets me going.

But how do you full time working moms do it?

Because I'm exhausted.

I did have the pleasure of coming home to a prepared dinner and a clean house and folded laundry and even clean sheets. So I didn't have to do much except load the dishwasher. How spoiled am I? I know I couldn't do it alone.

So to all you working moms out there, props to you. You have my respect for sure.

I Don't Want Your Address

2010-12-16T10:32:00.000-08:00

I've been on the fence this year about Christmas cards. I ordered a whole slew of them last year, and then with the job loss and impending move, I managed to send out 2. 2. That is just sad. It made me feel like a failure, to be honest.

So in order to avoid the failure feeling this year, I'm just giving up on the Christmas card idea. We all pretty much look the same, maybe a little older, but not anything super. I just don't have the energy, 0r the time, or the money, to buy us all matchy matchy outfits and accessories, and then force my kids to look all lovely and sweet. They aren't lovely and sweet. My life is crazy and they are messy.

If you really want a true to life card, you can stop by any day and see my messy table covered in crafts and the TV set on Disney, and kids with crazy hair and morning breath. That is my Christmas card.

So I don't want you address. Sorry. You can check this here blog for any sort of joyous sweet moment that probably won't happen. And in the meantime, at least I don't feel like a failure. I'm awesome.

When It's Cold, We'll Skate

2010-12-15T10:20:00.000-08:00

We went ice skating at the Olympic Oval on Saturday. It was a pretty good time. I'm still a little sore. Apparently ice skating uses muscles that bowling and blogging don't. Go figure. My left butt cheek is getting pretty rock hard from bowling, and now my right cheek is sore and stiff from ice skating. My rear end is pretty much a mess. Now I know how J-Lo feels.

Enjoy the rare glimpse into my life with these adorable videos (just a few seconds each) of my kids "ice skating". More like ice walking, but whatever.

A Lot Can Happen When You Let It

2010-12-11T11:24:00.000-08:00

It's been a year since this post. A year that has flown by. So much has changed since I wrote that post. So much around me, and so much inside me. I shudder to think what my life would be like now, had things not taken such a drastic turn.

Sean has a year and a half of school under his belt, and a scholarship awaiting him at the U. We started a business, and have been plugging away at actually making it work. It is. I started homeschooling Maggie, probably one of the best decisions I've made as a parent. We have a whole new appreciation for all types of assistance; family, church, government, and so on. The sacrifices we are making now are for a bigger pay off in the end, and I know we have the gumption to do it.

I see how smart Sean is, and I see how his mind wasn't being put to its full potential at his job. I see how he can excel at anything he chooses, and I know in my heart of hearts that he will be very successful and happy with whatever road he chooses. I'm content to be a working mom, a homeschooling mom, and a crazy mom, for a while, because I know my family is benefiting more than they would if we were just to be mediocre at something else.

I'm not gonna lie, I miss the money. It's still hard to not buy the kids something they want, or to not go out to eat because we can't afford it. Saying "we can't afford it" still tastes like vinegar when it comes out, but it's getting easier. I miss the perks. The Cubs games, the Bulls games, the trailer, the big house, the vacations, and the ease of not worrying about where the next paycheck was coming from. But I feel far more fulfilled now, so I guess that's saying something. I know this is part of the plan for us, and I know it will work. Sometimes life is hard, but sometimes it's easy. Either way, it keeps coming around.

I'm so glad we were given this trial. We have had a lot happen that would never have happened otherwise, and we're better people for it. I guess that's a good thing.

It's Really No Excuse

2010-12-08T03:56:00.000-08:00

I understand it's the Holidays, and all, but this eating thing has seriously got to stop. Let me be clear. I'm not eating too much. I physically can't. But I can eat crap. Loads and loads of sugary sweetness and calorie laden crap.

People, I'm being honest here. I cannot remember the last time I ate fruit. Wait, yes I can. I had one raspberry off the top of my creme brulee the other night. Does that even count? I don't like fruit, therefore, I have a hard time eating it. See how that works?

But fo realz, what do I do? I feel like I can't make improvements in my eating habits because I'm so scared. That is just silly, I know. But it's true. There are a couple of variables to this problem. One, my kids. They complain about everything they eat. Unless it's macaroni and cheese. I might just drop kick one of them if they ask for mac and cheese one more time this week. And it's only Wednesday. Two, physically I'm not able to eat a lot of foods. Rice, out. Bread, out. Anything with a tortilla, iffy. Those things make me barf, and that's not good.

So where do I even begin? I know the best way to start off the day is with a good breakfast, but I can't physically eat breakfast, so I usually pop a couple of tums and have a glass of Ovaltine. Lunch is hit and miss, if I feel like it, I'll eat whatever the kids are eating (usually mac and cheese). Dinner time is the worst. My kids complain no matter what it is, and hubby will pretty much eat anything, so I usually defrost something and call it good. I can eat pretty well at dinner time, but sometimes I can't. If I still seem hungry later, I'll drown my sorrows with some Ben and Jerry's or some Milano cookies.

See? Bad. I need help. This is my rock bottom, I think.

2010-12-04T09:46:00.001-08:00

Today is Sean's birthday. Lets all yell a big happy birthday to him. On 3. Ready? 1, 2, 3, Happy Birthday!

Thanks.

So remember last year on Sean's birthday? My sisters showed up at our restaurant in Illinois and totally shocked me. You can read the story here.

This year I hope there are no surprises in store. I will be content with a nice quiet birthday celebration this weekend.

But happy birthday, Sean. I love you, I really do. I hope you have a great year ahead.

Giggle Words

2010-12-02T11:24:00.000-08:00

While doing school today, one of Maggie's lesson books was teaching the -unk sound. It was used repeatedly in different words, you know, to enforce the correct usage. We came across one sentence that used the -unk sound in the word form of Junk.

She giggled.

Yep. My sweet 7 year old giggles at the word junk. Just like her daddy. I'm totally mother of the year here.

Thanks Was Given

2010-11-29T11:49:00.000-08:00

We had Thanksgiving. It was so nice. I mean, nice in that we had to leave for Las Vegas earlier than expected to outrun the Blizzard Of 2010, and nice in that I had to find out on Facebook the day before we left that Sean's brother had smashed our van, and nice in that my poor pregnant sister had to stop in at the ER in Beaver of all places because her congestion was so bad she couldn't breathe. Yeah, that was nice.

But once we all got there, it wasn't nice. It was wonderful.

We had sort of promised my mom before she died that we would keep all the traditions going. Well, we have, for the most part, but as our family changes, it only makes sense that things change a little too. So we decided to have Thanksgiving at Jill's house, and we decided that every person would be in charge of something for the big dinner. Every person. Kids included. And we also decided to try new recipes and ideas. And it worked. Every kid and adult did something fun, even my dad contributed with a stop in to the Dutch Store before they came to Vegas, and he brought our favorite; Marzipan and windmill cookies.

As we spent the morning cooking and laughing and eating bits and pieces of tasty treats, we realized all at once that our family is amazing. We are so blessed. It isn't a mystery that I've had a hard time since my mom died, but looking around at all the kids playing together, us girls and Noma cooking our little hearts out, and it all happening like a well oiled machine made an distinct impression on my heart that family is absolutely the most important thing in the world. I honestly don't know what I would do without them.

I know my mom was thankful to see us all there together.

There are so many things to be thankful for at this time of year, but family is my number one, for sure. My mom taught us from a very young age that although we might not always like each other (especially as quarreling siblings), we would grow to love each other more than we ever imagined. And guess what? She was right.

Thanks be given for lessons learned.

Dusty Muffins

2010-11-18T11:21:00.000-08:00

I made blueberry muffins today. They are delicious. The best part is smearing a huge portion of butter across the split I make in the middle, and watching it melt as I shove the whole thing in my mouth. It's very ladylike, don't worry.

But it does make me think of this video, which is hilarious, and also very ladylike.

Little Things

2010-11-17T14:08:00.001-08:00

You know, I've been homeschooling for 3 months now. I can't believe it. In those 3 short months, Maggie and I have both learned a lot.

She has learned to read rather well. I have learned to let her take her time in sounding out words, rather than jump right in and tell her what they are.

She has learned that she can do a lot of work on her own now, without me telling he specifically what to do. I've learned that she can be a self starter if I let her take the lead.

It's funny what we can learn about our kids when we are actually engaged in the learning process with them. I find Maggie's humor to be spot on, something I hadn't noticed before this adventure began. I also know that I need to make special concessions for Maggie. She needs things to be stable and smooth, no major bumps in the road, or it throws her whole mojo off.

My previous parenting skills included lots of threats and "if you don't"s, but now I know I need to take the time to see what her perspective is like, and then adjust my own reactions to her needs. She tends to be an organizer, so I let her make math problems in a line up and down, instead of across. She likes to find patterns, so I let her do the sentences out of the order they are written in her book. These are all little things, things that take no time at all to do, things that make her life so easy, and things that I know make her happier.

It's funny how the little things can mean so much. I only hope she appreciates it as much as I appreciate her.

Tanorexia

2010-11-16T11:11:00.000-08:00

I have a confession to make. I've been tanning lately. Like, not a ton, but I'll visit the old cancer bed every week or so, mostly just to get warm. I know, it's bad, but I can't help it.

I'm freezing. All. The. Time.

And it's only November.

I'm not going to handle this winter well, I can tell, and I should be so grateful, since it's not the bone chilling sub zero kind of winter you get in Illinois. But still, I'm so cold! I've had my thyroid checked, and yeah, it's off, but I can only take so many pills each day, so those are usually the ones that get left behind. I know if I took them more regularly, I wouldn't be so cold all the time, but they don't help that much, so it's not a big deal.

Also, I like the little bronze sheen I'm getting as a bonus from the tanning bed. I can't complain about that.

One thing I don't like, is the biotch that works at the tanning salon. She's there every time I go in. I'm very pleasant with her. She is not. She won't make eye contact, and she acts like I'm totally putting her out when I show up. She has the requisite bleachy blond hair, and super leathery skin, along with what I can only assume are collagen fillers in her lips, because you think Lisa Rinna's old lip was bad? This girl puts her to shame. I call her a typical Tanorexic.

I'm not turning into one those, I assure you, I'm merely seeking warmth, but I can certainly see how the tanorexia can take over, and before you know it, your jonesing for a hit of UV, and getting the withdrawals from artificial face plumper.

Fun For Friday

2010-11-12T10:32:00.000-08:00

At least we know it's a Gentile. And a genital.

Now, in all seriousness, this potato was grown in my in-laws garden. They are the sweetest people I know, so that makes this even more funny. I just think it's hilarious, despite the risk I'm taking offending so many followers. So I apologize for my crassness. But I am who I am, I can't help it.

Turns Out, I'm Not That Smart

2010-11-10T19:32:00.000-08:00

You know, my perspective on a lot of things has changed over the last year. I have a whole new appreciation for so many things I always took for granted before. One thing I've really found myself pondering on lately is how easy other people make things look.

Other people make being full time students look easy.

It's not. Sean is doing a lot of homework these days, and by a lot I mean an hour or so a week, which for him is a lot. Trust me, it is. I know it will get more difficult and time consuming as he advances the ranks of education, but for now it's a weird transition to see him home at 2:00 in the afternoon.

Other people make running a business look easy.

It's not. I've been learning QuickBooks, of which I'm not really a fan. I like the idea of QB, but it's really quite cumbersome. And by cumbersome, I mean it doesn't translate information directly from my brain to a neat, user-friendly spreadsheet, with nary a keystroke. See? Cumbersome.

Other people make being smart look easy.

It's not. I've always thought I'm pretty smart. I know a lot of crap. Useless, brain space hogging, annoying to most people kind of crap. I do a lot of stuff. Mostly half-assed, but stuff nonetheless. I can write a coherent sentence, do basic math, carry on a decent conversation, and even make people laugh. Although maybe that's not smarts. Hmm.

I think as my perspective on life has changed, my perspective on myself is changing. I guess that would seem a natural conversion. But as I go on about this little life of mine, I'm realizing I still have so much to learn. It's a little frustrating, but if I can keep a good attitude it makes it a little easier. I just need to keep myself from sabotaging myself. Be more optimistic instead of a pessimist so much of the time. Understand that things come gradually, not all at once. I hope I can be smart enough to wait it out.

Edumacation

2010-11-09T09:36:00.001-08:00

Yesterday I attended a cutting class. I know, normally I was the one cutting class, and now I'm deliberately attending a class on cutting.

It's sad to say that over the years of doing hair, I've picked up some bad habits. Some out of shear (ha ha!) laziness, some out of necessity, but bad nonetheless. I tend to have a limp wrist when I cut. I tend to hunch my shoulders. I tend to crane my neck. All bad things. But as the years have worn on, they have become natural to me, and therefore they seem normal.

I was smacked with a terrible reality yesterday. As I stood in line to make sections and cuts on our Mannequins head, my wrist started hurting terribly. When I mentioned this to the instructor, she said I have been doing things wrong for so long, my ergonomics were all screwed up. Makes sense. Luckily it wasn't anything lasting, so I can go back to my lazy limp wristedness today, and things will feel much better.

But I also learned something else at my cutting class yesterday. I have been out of the loop for so long, I forgot how important education is. It's amazing what a little shift in texture here, or a snip at a different angle there will change in the look of a cut. I needed a little refresher course, and I got one. It was fun to see stylists from all ages and experience levels learning new things together. I never thought a beauty school student would ever teach me anything, but some of them really have a lot on the ball, and really know what's up in the hair doin' world.

So now I'm all edumacated. I feel smarter, and I think what I've learned will serve me well. At least until next season.

Fun For Friday

2010-11-05T12:28:00.001-07:00

This makes me smile. And not just because it's hot chocolate.

I love those cute squinty little eyes and that cute button nose.

Thanks, McDonalds, for making me smile.

Happy Friday!

Working With It

2010-11-02T20:39:00.000-07:00

Yesterday was spent shopping at the Beauty Supply, which I love, and hitting Wal-Mart for a pair of cheap black pants and some trouser socks. Does anyone else seem to lose socks during the summer? I do. I'll have a whole bunch of new ones for winter, and by the time the end of summer comes along, after those months of wearing nothing on my feet but flip-flops, the socks have disappeared into thin air. Weird. But I digress. I had to hit the Beauty Supply for last minute supplies for the salon. Which brings me to...

...Yesterday I also went to work. At my new place. Yippee! It was a pretty big deal, at least for me. I like the new place. It's cute and friendly, and I have lots of room to grow. Maggie doesn't like it. She says it's too big, and the necklaces are too expensive. (?) That kid cracks me up.

It did feel pretty good to be back in an upscale salon atmosphere after these last few months of my "Steel Magnolia's" place. I miss the intense one-on-one thing, but I do like the camaraderie of having lots of stylists and clients about the place. I like working, I always have. I think I'll like this new gig. I know I can do great things with it if I keep a good attitude and try not to let the business end get me down. Sometimes it takes a good leap to get you off the ground, right? Right. And I can definitely work with that.

Feel free to click over to the new website (props to Mike for working on it!), and schedule an appointment online. Yes, I have entered the latest century. You can honestly book appointments without even calling or texting. Amazing, I know. Go ahead, try it.

Fun For Friday

2010-10-29T10:59:00.001-07:00

I hate carving pumpkins. It ranks right up there with changing a baby that had a blowout and has poop all up its back and down its legs. Yeah, it's like that. Only stinkier. I absolutely despise the smell of pumpkin guts. But nevertheless, we are good parents, and therefore indulge our childrens' desires to have rotting fruit perched precariously on our porch for the neighborhood bullies to smash.

I give you the following:

Emma's toadstools, which I actually think are very very cute. Better Homes and Gardens has some really cute stencils on their website.

Gretta's scary face. I carved this one for her (uh, obviously, since she's 3 and isn't allowed to use knives until she's 4), and I admit, I got a little impatient and may have accidentally cut off half the face. Either way, I think it looks a little like Voldemort, and a lot like Dom Deluise.

Maggie's haunted house. So cute! Sean did this one. He's a master at the teeny knife cutting through thick pumpkin skin. And to think with skills like that, he's still unemployed!

And here they are all together. So darling. We got cute little lights that flicker like real candles, and when we put them inside, and step way way back, they actually look pretty good. I mean, as good as hollowed out fruit can look, right?

Happy Friday! And Happy Halloween!

Fun For Friday

2010-10-25T12:01:00.001-07:00

I know it's Monday, but I need something to make me laugh today, and thought I'd share it with all of you as well.

Who knew you could get Eye Pads at Walgreens? And for only $1.99?

Get it? Eye Pads? Like iPads? I crack me up.

Props to Sean for spotting this one.

Changes, Revisited

2010-10-22T11:45:00.000-07:00

Well, the time has come to let you all in on my little secret.

Things have indeed changed. You see, I've been so lucky to have been working at a cute little salon in Riverton, a mile from my house. It's been awesome. I can work whenever I want, I've had time to grow my business, and I've been blessed to reconnect with some of the best people I know.

But the time has come to move on. It's sad in a way, but at the same time it's very exciting.

I'm moving to a salon in Draper called Salon Complete. I'll still run my own business from there, so nothing will change as far as scheduling and all that. Pretty much I'll be known as The Back Porch @ Salon Complete. I'm very excited to have the opportunity to grow my business even more now.

I'm sad to leave Suzie and her cute family; that's where I've been located for the last 6 months, but even though I had a hard time telling her I was leaving, I knew it was time. She was very supportive, as I knew she would be.

So it's on to bigger and better things. I'm very excited to get started. I'll be there beginning November 1, so if you need to schedule anything with me, call or text me, or email me, and we'll get you going just as soon as I get set up.

So that's that. Nothing huge like a baby or anything, but still big news to me.

Loungewear

2010-10-20T10:53:00.000-07:00

I love the look of cute moms wearing Velour sweat suits and Shape-Ups as they peruse the aisles at the local Wal-Mart. Some moms are all blingy with earrings and bracelets and big sparkly watches and everything. Some are more casual, with just a simple imitation brand name purse and a fake hair ponytail.

But now I've joined their ranks, albeit begrudgingly.

See, it sort of hurts to wear pants. Yeah, I know. Sean is loving that part of it. Not really, not really. But the button to my pants is right at incision level, making the buttoning and subsequent bending over quite painful.

So here I sit, in the only non-buttoning pants I own, bright pink cotton capris. They were $1 at Wal-Mart. How awesome is that? $1. That's like cheaper than Goodwill used ones! And thank goodness I have them. Otherwise I'm afraid what the visitors would think when I answer the door in my G's. Hmmm.

But trust me, as soon as these incisions are healed up and I'm able to do up those buttons again, I'm giving up the bright pink capris. I may just invest in a new pair of jeans. I think 2 pair is essential for winter, don't you? That's a whole nother post, though.

What A Weird Couple Of Days

2010-10-19T15:24:00.000-07:00

My Facebook followers already know this story, so if you're one of them, feel free to bag out of this post now. I won't feel bad, I promise. {sniff, sniff} I won't. Go ahead. {wiping nose with back of hand}

For those of you (my real friends) who stayed to read, here it is. What a weird couple of days. Holy cow.

Thursday night we stayed up in Midway. One advantage of having an unemployed husband is taking advantage of killer midweek rates at local resorts. We had a lovely evening of good food and a fireplace. Ahh. But I wasn't feeling great. Boo.

We turned in early, and despite a magic sleeping pill, I tossed and turned all night, not really able to pinpoint what felt bad, I just didn't feel good.

Friday morning we had an early tee time, so we got up, ordered breakfast (free with the midweek deal! Woot!), and started getting ready to get our golf on. Well, I couldn't eat anything for breakfast. Not because I physically couldn't like normal (my lap-band is tight in the mornings, so food is hit or miss early in the morning), but because I was nauseated and achy. I thought maybe I was catching a cold. I worked through the ick, and headed out on the course.

The first few holes were fine. I actually had a great couple of drives, and a pretty good chip on to the green (golf clap here, thankyouverymuch). Then hole 5 came around. We were sandwiched between 2 foursomes, so we had to wait for them to clear the fairway. I teed off, and it was good one. Problem is, I tried to cut the corner, even thought the GPS on the cart specifically said not to. Oopsie. I hit a house. {Head bowed in shame}. Don't worry, though, I had a phone number all ready to give the owners in case they popped out. It may or may not have been 867-5309. (Do you get it? Do you? Ha, now you'll be singing that song all day!) Don't worry, it just hit the roof, and the way this economy is, I'm pretty sure that house was empty.

Right after I hit the house, and I'm talking right after, the aches and pains I had been feeling for the last 12 hours localized in my lower back. That Karma, she's a bitch. So I told Sean I'd have to take a couple of holes off. Since we were still waiting for the foursome in front of us to tee off, we had quite a wait ahead of us. The pain was getting worse. I was pretty sure at this point that I had another kidney infection. We just decided to head home. I didn't argue.

We started driving down Parley's, and at about the Quarry, I could literally feel the pain move from my lower back, around my side, and settle in just under my bellybutton. It was like a hot knife was twisting inside me. It didn't feel nearly as good as it sounds. By the time we got to I-215, I was crying in pain, and told Sean to take me to the ER.

Sure enough, a temperature and elevated white count confirmed the diagnosis, and my appendix came out about an hour later. Luckily for me the surgeon on call was a family friend who has done several surgeries for us. That made me feel better.

I spent that night in the hospital getting the best rest of my life (note the sarcasm), and came home early the next morning. Really, I can't believe all that happened so fast. I still can't believe it's Tuesday. It's like I missed 4 days of my life or something.

So that's that. One adventure after another around here. I swear, if we could just catch a break for a minute it would be a miracle. For now, though, I'm steering clear of Karma. You just never really know when she'll strike.

Ch ch ch ch Changes

2010-10-13T13:12:00.000-07:00

Things are gonna change, I can feel it.

Okay, that's 2 song lines in 3 blog lines. I should probably get some of my own material, huh?

So I have some changes coming. Good changes, I think. I hope. I've been marinating this idea around in my head for a while now, and finally it's coming to fruition. I know it will be tricky, but this isn't the first time I've jumped off not really knowing where I'll land. It's probably not a big deal to the rest of you, but it's a pretty big deal to me. It puts me in charge of what I want to do, no more worries about the little annoying things.

I know I couldn't be doing this without Sean around. He's the computer guy, the technical guy, the voice of reason when the business end of things gets to be too much for me. When in doubt, he'll make me up a spreadsheet so I can understand just what the heck I'm actually doing. I'm adding that to the "reasons to not get a divorce" list. There are more reasons on that list, and one day I'll publish it, but for now, that's a little preview into how I'm managing to make it day by day. It's been a rough patch.

Seriously, though. Losing what we've lost, nearly losing our family, and trying to make the best of things is hard enough. Now I have this, and I'm kind of freaking out. But it will work. Or so I'm told. When it's time to tell you what it is, I will. But for now, just keep your fingers crossed for me that it will all come together.

Too Sexy...

2010-10-12T10:43:00.001-07:00

... For this bench. Gotta love Lagoon and the fun people watching that comes with it.

*Apologies for the poor picture quality. This was obviously taken on the sly with a cell phone.

2010-10-08T08:00:00.000-07:00

Today's Fun For Friday contains the following: A home made cake wreck, an ecstatic Maggie, and a 7 candle, which I'm totally in denial belongs to my middle child. She can't possible be 7. But alas, she is, so here you go. Enjoy.

Please don't post this to Cake Wrecks. Maggie made it herself, and I think it turned out pretty good.

Ta-Da!

Happy Friday!

Maggie

2010-10-07T09:02:00.001-07:00

Today is her birthday. I can't believe she's 7. It seems like just yesterday that I was having a scheduled C-Section, all calm and ready, only to be blindsided by the pain of the incision and the stark realization that the epidural didn't take. Yeah, did I mention this was during a C-Section? Uh huh. Totally was. Ouchy to say the least.

It's kind of a funny simile to Maggie's whole life. She was a great baby. She had a head full of dark hair, and she sucked her thumb, so she hardly every cried. Then she turned 2. Oh boy. Just when I thought I had a perfect baby and could relax and enjoy having 2 kids, the terrible twos hit. Man, that kid could scream. She still can. Her anxiety issues started becoming more and more apparent, and I knew she would be my kid that needed a little extra special attention. We went through 2 years of her only wanting to wear soft pants, and donning a Belle dress over the top of every outfit. She never let me comb her hair, and taking a bath was a battle. Too much stimulation, we later found out.

But as the years have passed, and we've learned more about what makes Maggie Maggie, she has become a very enjoyable loving daughter. She is a joy to have in our family. Some of the things we love about Maggie are:

Her love of crafting. She got a tape dispenser and 6 rolls of tape for her birthday. She is in heaven.
The way she sings like no one can hear her.
How she can be a little mother to the little kids, but tries to be a tween for the bigger kids.
She still wears a tutu some days.
She loves to be homeschooled.
She is learning to read, and will devour any book she can get her hands on.
She has great hair.
When she's tired, she's tired. She will ask to please go to bed.
She still hates to take showers, but baths are okay.
She has great tanning skin. She still has tan lines from LAST summer.
She's terrified of mosquitoes, and for good reason. She has major reactions, and have had her legs and face swell up to the size of a dinner plate.
She likes to clean and organize things.
She's very kind and loving.

We love our Maggie, and we're so glad she's part of our family!

Lucky Seven

2010-10-06T14:24:00.000-07:00

Maggie's birthday is tomorrow. We have a tradition that we go together and pick out a cake. She took it upon herself to design the cake.

Here it is.

I think she may just have a future in cake design, what do you think? I was very proud of her. Stay tuned tomorrow for a list of things we love about Maggie.

Birthday Girl

2010-10-05T10:02:00.000-07:00

Today is my moms birthday. Hard day. Instead of posting on this blog, I thought it would be more appropriate to blog on her blog. If you want to see it, you can go there. If not, carry on.

Five Year Blogiversary

2010-10-04T06:06:00.000-07:00

Today marks my 5 year blogging anniversary. How crazy is that? 5 years? Wow. I'm just gonna recap some of the things that have happened over the last 5 years. Some have been blogged, some have not. Either way, I need to remember why I do this. In no particular order, other than this is how my memory works, we have the following:

My mom died.

I had Gretta.

Moved to Illinois.

Moved back to Utah.

Attended marriage counseling twice.

Lost 40ish pounds.

Started running.

Been through approximately 3 broken bones and a set of stitches between the kids.

Sean had 2 surgeries.

Traveled to fun parts of the country.

Made awesome friends.

Dad got married.

Meg got married.

Gained 2 1/2 neices on my side, numerous others on Sean's side.

Started a business.

Had some awesome girls' trips.

Made a fool out of myself repeatedly.

Started homeschooling.

Been through a job loss.

Suffered through a major bout of depression.

Tried to find the true meaning of Christmas.

Had my first garage sale.

Hung out on the porch with Kate.

Hid in the basement when the tornadoes came.

Crashed the Vangina twice.

Sean got rear ended 3 times.

Been through the coldest winters I have ever felt.

Realized I need my family.

So many other things have happened. I still go back and read my old blog posts, and though most of the time I remember writing them, sometimes it's like I'm reading someone elses blog. I don't recognize my writing style or my humor. For some reason when I write, the words sound different in my head than they do on paper. I guess it's okay, seeing as it's my blog, and I can read it and write on it however I choose. But still, I can't believe it's been 5 years. I never imagined I would stick with something for this long.

Happy Haunting, Again

2010-09-30T10:10:00.000-07:00

My mom is back. She is haunting us for reals now.

Yesterday I was at PT, and Sean was home doing chores. He likes to do chores. It's not because I make him, I swear. He was changing the sheets on our bed, and at that moment, he heard a loud pop! and a hissing noise coming from the master bathroom.

Upon investigation, he found that a can of dry shampoo had ruptured, spraying its contents all over the bathroom, and it spun feverishly around and around in the sink where it had landed.

Now. I have been around hairsprays and cans of product under pressure for years. I think it would be safe to say I have come in contact with thousands of cans of this nature over the years I've done hair. Not one time in my life have I heard of a can rupturing like this without a good reason. It wasn't hot, there were no heated tools near it, in fact, none of my hair tools were even in the bathroom at that time. They were in the car with me, since I had to go to work later that day. It literally burst on its own, with no rhyme or reason.

Except I think my mom was trying to tell us she is still here.

Sean said after it happened, he sat and "chatted" with her for about 5 minutes, telling her we are all doing okay, and that we're happy here, and that if she needed us to do anything, to let us know. I'm not sure what an exploding can of dry shampoo means, but it could mean we need to clean up more? I don't know.

I don't really care what the meaning of it is, I'm just glad that she's around to keep us on our toes.

Let's Get Physical

2010-09-29T06:20:00.000-07:00

You know you're singing that song now, huh? I loved that song when I was little. I love ONJ, she's so cute, with that short shaggy hair and that accent. Ahh, young Olivia Newton John. Now she's a cancer survivor and has endured the heartbreak of a lover lost at sea. Weird, no?

None of that has to do with this post.

Today I start Physical Therapy! Can I get a Woop Woop? No? Party poopers. I bet you're thinking I need PT because of my last marathon. You'd be wrong. As hard as it is to run a marathon over the course of one month, that is not the reason.

I dislocated a rib.

I know, right. I didn't even know that was thing. I still sort of have my doubts, except I've seen it on an X-Ray, and my awesome chiropractor says he can feel it pop in and out. And it's pretty painful. My doctor said he sees this a lot in elite athletes. Yeah, totally me. He also sees it in working moms with anxiety and depression and anger management issues. Nope, not me.

Since there's pretty much zero they can do about it, I decided that PT was my best, if not only, option. Actually, the chiropractic adjustments have helped, but still, when I run, it comes back, and it's hard to breathe, and when you're chubby and running, it's already hard to breathe, so there's a good chance my next run won't end well.

I've heard good things about PT. I know lots of people that have had good results from it. I also know lots of people that say they were on the verge of punching their therapist in the face because they hurt you so bad. That may have come from my grandma, she was awesome. And with my anger management issues, he better watch it.

Happy Haunting

2010-09-28T09:04:00.000-07:00

Thanks to Spencer, Sean has been on this scary movie kick for the last few weeks. First it was The Crazies. Scary at the beginning, then just got dumber and dumber as it went on. I thought maybe I had grown up a little and could handle a scary movie in my old age. I was wrong.

Friday night brought A Haunting In Connecticut. Holy crap. Seriously? That is some scary stuff. I think the fact that it's based on a true story (or so they say), makes it even more scary. There are glimpses of ghosts that disappear the second you turn to look for them. There is a locked room in the basement that has been sealed off for some unknown reason. There are rainy nights and full moons and creaky floors, you know, the works for scary movies.

I don't mind the creaks and dark basements so much. I mind the men jumping out and the old fashioned mortician appliances that look like tools of torture.

But it makes me think of my mom. I know, creepy, huh? But I'm pretty sure she's haunting us. My kids love it. I love it. And it's not scary at all. I love that she is around this house, bumping things at night and making things fall down. I hope that means she likes having us here since she hasn't done anything to make us scared.

I wonder if I could make a movie about a happy haunting? It probably wouldn't draw much of a crowd, huh?

Pretty Scary Stuff

2010-09-27T13:04:00.000-07:00

We went to Lagoon's Frightmares on Saturday. (Sort of like FrightFest for you Six Flags peeps, but with less cool make up and more kiddie themed stuff.) You know, since we have season passes we have to make the most of them! It was the second day of Frightmares, and a Saturday, so I thought it might be crowded. Turns out, no so crowded. It was a perfect day. Cool in the shade, warm in the sun, not a cloud in the sky. The kids were having a blast, and I got some relaxing people watching time in, which I will miss dearly when the park closes.

Shortly after this photo was taken, we decided to go through one of the haunted houses they make specifically for Frightmares. It was a 3 Spider rating on a scale of 1-4. Pretty scary sounding to me. But Maggie and Sean were up for it, so we left Gretta with Emma, and headed in to our doom. The whole haunted house was painted in 3-D paint, and you had to wear 3-D glasses. It was pretty cool. Maggie did well, she didn't put on her glasses, and that helped a lot. As we got toward the end, I commented that it smelled like gas. Just then, a masked man jumped out and pull started a chain saw and chased us down the exit ramp.

I'm pretty sure Maggie pooped her pants. Or maybe that was me. I don't know, but it was pretty darn scary.

I think we'll stick to the kiddie straw maze and the haunted house rides. Those are just up my alley.

Fun For Friday

2010-09-24T09:50:00.001-07:00

Today I give you this little gem. (Oh, I totally crack myself up with that one!) Found in Las Vegas, next to our favorite frozen yogurt place, USwirl.

Do you see it? Do you? At least they're "Better Jewelers", and not "Best Jewelers", but I'd hate, or love, to see "Good Jewelers", and the grammatical errors they could come up with.

I'm such a grammar snob. I see errors all the time, especially on professional custom signs. It makes me think that the sign makers should double check all the proposed spelling, otherwise, it makes both companies look stupid.

But it gives me good stuff to blog about.

Happy Friday!

Facebook Fail

2010-09-23T13:58:00.000-07:00

Facebook is down. Sean says it's a sign from God that I should blog more.

Perhaps he's right.

Because here I sit, wishing I could facebook about facebook being down. Instead, I'll blog about facebook being down. Sadly, I don't even have anything facebook-y to share on facebook, but I still wish I could see what others were facebooking about.

I personally feel it's an attempt to draw more attention to the movie about facebook that is due to come out.

Publicity stunts. Fail.

What's For Lunch?

2010-09-22T09:41:00.001-07:00

It's 10:30 ish at my house, and the kids are already asking for lunch. This is so funny to me. They get up at the butt crack of dawn, okay, like 7, eat a ton of cereal and yogurt, and then by 10:30 they want lunch. Man, it's a good thing they don't go to school, and have to wait until 12:30 for lunch, they would starve!

So for today's "lunch", we're having two things. Maggie is making her own quesadilla, which she loves to do since she has figured out how to use the 30 second button on the microwave. Fine with me, I don't mind giving her a little bit more independence. And Gretta is having Ravioli. Only the kind from the can. We bought some Roasted Pepper And Braised Short Rib Ravioli that came in a bag a few nights ago. I liked it. The kids? Not so much. They prefer Chef Boyardee. I guess their palates aren't ready for more than that yet.

Even though it's a little early for lunch, I don't mind too much. I have bowling today, and if the kids eat lunch here at home, that means less moolah I have to for over for bowling alley snacks later on. Win win, see? I bowl, they play, no greasy food. I do have to say that I don't agree with the bowling alley rule about now outside food or drink. I need my McDonald's coke, and the snack bar coke just isn't the same. Maybe I'll try and sneak it in. Do you think they'd revoke my league membership?

Probably not worth it for a little coke.

If There Was A Way To Write The Sound A Drill Makes, It Would Go Here

2010-09-21T11:04:00.000-07:00

Maggie gets to go to the dentist today. She absolutely looooves the dentist. Do you sense my sarcasm? Actually, we all went to see Dr. Matt last week, and none of us cried. That's a pretty big deal. But even though 4 of us checked out cavity-free, poor Mags has a couple of doozies.

She's not too scared of what's to come, yet. She has been fine all morning. I'm sure she'll be fine up until they put her in that chair and start tilting it backward. Oh, the screams that will be heard. There will be drooling, and snot, and lots and lots of tears, I'm sure. And then there will be her, oh boy. ;)

I have always hated the dentist. As a kid, the only time we went to the dentist was if we had an abscess, or needed a root canal. Never for a cleaning. I didn't even know people went to the dentist to get their teeth cleaned until I was married. Go figure. We've been lucky enough to have a great family dentist, and cleanings have remained fairly consistent. I know that's a huge blessing. Dental insurance is cheap, but dental work, even with insurance, is not.

I don't think Mags will need root canals. She had to have one last year, and it was pretty bad. These ones look like they'll be okay. But then again, I'm no dentist, so what do I know?

Taken Over

2010-09-20T08:03:00.000-07:00

I hope this post speaks to at least a few of my bloggy friends. You gals get me, so I'm sure it will.

Is it just me, or has Facebook basically taken the place of a blog? I have 2 reasons for thinking this.

1. I can access Facebook a million times a day (and I probably do!), and post mild to moderately witty status updates throughout the day. We'll call them mini blog posts. Less wordy, more to the point, but a lot less satisfying.

2. I'm only on my desktop computer, from where I blog, once in a while anymore, so my blog suffers. I sort of figure why bother blogging when I can just update Facebook. It's sad. I'm not really sure what this means for the future of blogging.

I love my blog, I really do. I love going back and reading the mindless spewing that has come forth over the years. I especially love reading the posts I wrote when my mom was sick, and shortly thereafter. It brings back such good memories. I know that sounds weird, but that was a really important time in my life, and I learned a lot during those weeks. Plus, it makes it feel like she's still a part of my life.

I also love looking back at all the pictures of my kids and my life over the past few years. I need to get back to that. It's just hard now, because before, people wanted to see what my life was like in a different state, with new adventures and all that. Now that I'm back in boring old Utah (wink wink), it's just not the same.

So even though I don't get where this post is going, I guess it's just a reminder to myself more than anything that I need to be better at documenting my life. I know not everyone that reads my blog lives in Utah, so you're probably interested in what's going on here. I'll be better, I promise. I promise I won't let Facebook completely take over my social networking.

Room Temperature-Ish

2010-09-16T08:30:00.000-07:00

I was asked to join a bowling league. A wha??? Yep, apparently people my age (ahem) are in bowling leagues.

So of course I couldn't turn it down. Mostly because I love the cutie pie that asked me, and I was intrigued to see what it was all about. After all, Kathie looked for a preschool schedule for her baby that wouldn't interfere with her league schedule, so I figured it must be fun.

Turns out I'm not a great bowler.

I'm not even that good. I'm mediocre, and that's being generous. My first game I got a 98. Not bad. It just went down hill from there. By the end of the third game, I was tired, my left butt cheek was sore, and my ball kept listing to one side or the other, no matter what I tried to do to correct it. I think my other two games were in the 70's. Great for temps, bad for bowling.

On the plus side, I met some way awesome ladies. I mean, here I come, toting my 2 children and a bag full of crafting supplies to keep them busy, they've never met me, and they let me sit and chit chat with them like we're long lost friends. Good ladies.

Also on the plus side, there was an abundance of spiky hairdo's. Always a good laugh. Not that I don't love the spiky, because I can totally understand personal style, but to see so much of the same 'do in one place was hilarious.

The games were cheap, the shoes cheaper, and the kids were easily satisfied with a drink and some highly nutritious bowling alley grub.

I think I may enjoy this "sport" after all!

Fun For Friday

2010-09-03T10:55:00.000-07:00

Not everyone is book smart, so I guess it's good that some people have a skill.

I'm guessing grammar isn't one of his.

Happy Friday!

Moving The Lawn

2010-09-01T14:37:00.001-07:00

Sean likes to mow the lawn. He has never been the mower in the family until now. Now that we have a riding lawn mower for him to borrow. Of course, all these years that I've mowed the lawn, I've always done it the hard way. I don't mind giving him this pleasure, of course, because I'm too scared of this behemoth to drive it around all the various lawn obstacles.

But Gretta, she's all in. Every time this thing is fired up, she is out the door, and begging for a ride. She will sit with Sean for an hour and help him move the lawn. That's how she says it. Move the lawn. I think it's darling. If you want to hear something else she says that's darling, ask her to say truck. Yeah, that's a good one.

And here she is. I love that Sean has hearing protection, but not G. Eh, she'll be fine, I'm sure. But the lawn looks great, and Gretta is in a good mood. Can't ask for much more than that, huh?

Shafted

2010-08-31T13:15:00.000-07:00

I had posted yesterday about my August marathon. I though I'd start getting comments rolling in about how hilarious I am, and about how much I was missed this summer.

(Enter humble bow here)

I didn't.

Not a one.

I was pretty bummed, to say the least. But then I actually logged on to my blog (which I rarely do, I just rely on emails), and saw that I had 3 comments! Instantly I was jazzed. There may have even been jazz hands involved. It was sort of like an episode of Glee, but less gay, and more lame.

I guess what happened was this. About, oh, two and a half years ago, I posted on my now non-existent blog, that I was moving to Chicago. For some reason for the last couple of weeks, I've been getting tons of random spam comments on that particular post. And let me tell you, they are way spammy. Things like "gay hook ups now available in your area", and "free viagra for your womans pleasure", and lots and lots in some strange code-y language with numbers and characters and such. I mean at first I was interested, because who doesn't want a great gay hook up in their area? By raise of hands? But then I was freaked out.

So I finally just marked those comments as spam, and suddenly every comment that comes to my blog is sent to my spam folder. So not only do I feel like I'm getting the shaft, but it's kind of the shaft to my commenters as well, because their witty banter is getting flushed down the email toilet.

I apologize for any shaftiness that may have been implied by my lack of response. And I take back all the bad things I was thinking about my readers when I thought no one was commenting at all. So sorry.

My August Marathon

2010-08-30T05:48:00.000-07:00

I ran a marathon! I bet you didn't even know I was in training for one, huh?

Well, I did it. And my time?

30 days.

Yep, I ran a marathon in August. All of August. 26.2 miles in 30 days. Not too shabby for my first effort, I think.

Here is proof. See, my RunKeeper app (with which I have a love hate relationship) keeps track of all my stats. Month of August comes in at 26.2 miles exactly. So I guess since there's what, like 2 days left of the month, I should just go ahead and take those days off.

Maybe my next marathon will take me less time. Like say, 15 days? I mean that would have me beating my PR by half! I'm an overachiever, what can I say.

Lachanophobia

2010-08-27T14:40:00.000-07:00

It seems I've been suffering with this phobia for some time now. And it has actually started to affect my daily life. I guess it's time to do something about it.

But what?

Well, for one, I could just get over it. I could seek therapy, or group counseling, but I doubt that will help.

I could make friends with some vegetarians, but then I would feel like they were being all judgy and whatnot because of my choices.

I could take a vitamin, but I can't swallow those giant horse pills.

So what's a girl with fear of vegetables to do?

I bought myself some liquid multivitamin drink stuff from Sam's Club.

Honestly, I don't usually have a problem eating my veggies. It mostly fruit. I can't remember the last time I ate fruit. It seriously scares me. But lately my restless legs have gotten so bad, that even my medicine isn't touching it, which makes me a very nice person to live with, if you can imagine that.

So after some research, Sean found that low levels of iron and folic acid are sometimes a culprit in restless legs syndrome, and also the lack of fruits and vegetables in the diet. I'm desperate, so I'll try anything. I bought myself some V8 Fusion, you know, the yummy fruity drink that has a full serving of veggies in it too. I really like it! And it makes my poop pretty. I know you wanted to know that.

I'm hoping with the drink, combined with the multivitamin drink, combined with the iron supplement I'll be taking, things will have settled down ( I crack me up). Wish me luck.

Gratuitous

2010-08-26T07:49:00.000-07:00

I'm gonna be honest, I had to read that title repeatedly to make sure it was spelled correctly. It is, right?

Well, it's time for the annual Table Dance Of Joy at our house. Yes, folks, I literally get up on the table and do a little happy dance. You may remember it from this post, and this post. This was the first time Sean has been around to see it. He was impressed.

The table dance comes because, like I'm sure you've seen on Facebook and every single blog you read, it's back to school time. I'm just gonna say it, I don't really look at your kids' back to school pictures. I'm sorry, I just don't. And I don't really expect you to look at mine. I'm totally okay with that.

But I do expect you to see the proof that I did indeed do a table dance.

See? Proof. And if you need a verbal witness, ask Sean, he'll tell you. I may have even given him a little shimmy just for kicks.

(Also, note the glitter toes. So awesome. I love mine. And guess what? Yours truly does them now! So give me a ring, or a text or a FB message, and we'll get you hooked up)

And here's Emma. 6th grade. Holy crap. Really? She rode her bike to school today with some friends, and I think she was pretty excited, although she's at that age where it's not cool to get excited anymore, so she tries to keep it inside.

Maggie is obviously missing, since she's doing school at home with me, so I'll do a back to school picture of her tomorrow when she gets her new clothes on.

Back to school also means my fabled return to blogging. Ah, schedule, how I've missed you. I'm hoping to hop right back on the every day blog post thing, so I'm sure you're all on the edge of your seats for that. Stay tuned.

Visitors

2010-08-16T18:57:00.000-07:00

This weekend we were blessed to have visitors from all over! First, we ended up with Jake and Amy from Idaho crashing at our house, and they're always a good time.

Then Mark and Kelley from Chicago came to visit, along with Gary and Noel from Seattle.

If only Kate (who hasn't posted in for.ev.er) were here, we would have had friends from each time zone chillin in our back yard.

It was like old times, except I didn't take one picture, and I'm okay with that.

Don't mind the lack of link to Kelley's and Noel's blog, they're private, so unless you're invited, fuggedaboudit.

I heart visitors, so if any of you (you know who you are!) ever get out thisaway, you can totally crash here. I'm just sayin'.

A Short On Shorts

2010-08-11T10:46:00.000-07:00

So I have a problem. Well, I probably have lots of problems, but one that's bugging in particular.

No, it's not the way my belly jiggles like a Jell-O mold when I run.

No, it's not the fact that my skin looks like a 14 year old boy's.

It's that when I run, my shorts, they creep. Up and up and up, until I feel like my vajazzling is hanging out. It's not really, I hope (I'm pretty sure it's not!), but I start to feel a little immodest.

I know, most normal people wear compression shorts under their running shorts. I tried that. Problem is, since they are, well, compression-y, they give me the worst muffin top Ev.Er. It's gross. It's like the Jell-O mold exploded and there are Jell-O Jiggler bodaggits bouncing around under my shirt. It's really quite ugly, and not nearly as funny as the explanation. So I quit wearing them.

Now, I don't run in the 1980's version of running shorts, just so we're clear. They are not made out of neon nylon, and they don't have slits up the sides all the way to there. They're just regular Under Armour shorts, not of immodest length. I trade off between the creepers, and my longer shorts, which don't creep, but are hot and a little cumbersome.

So I guess my problem is this: Do I wear the compression shorts and jiggle down the road, surely to garner snide and hilarious comments from drivers as they pass, or do I skip the compression shorts, and hope to all hope that my vajayjay stays covered and just pretend like I don't notice the creeping?

What would you recommend as a passerby? Would you be more apt to notice a jiggly middle, or shorty shorts that look like they are being eaten by Ladytown?

Discuss.

Because I Was Tired Of Hearing Them Fight

2010-08-09T13:46:00.000-07:00

I woke up Saturday morning(ish), and the first sound I heard was my kids fighting. So since I had to do it anyway, I had Emma throw on her shoes, and we headed out for a run. I intended on it being a mile or so, then dropping her off at home, and finishing my 5 miles alone, but she insisted she could make it.

So we ran.

7 miles to be exact. She kept up most of the way, and we only walked up the biggest hill, and probably the last 2 miles. What a trooper. I'm a little sore today, and she's pretty sore.

But I was tired of hearing them fight, so maybe next time she'll learn that if she gives her sisters any crap, she and I are heading out for a run.

Mother of the year right here.

Time Flies

2010-07-26T13:52:00.000-07:00

Go here to read my thoughts on the last 2 years.

Pioneer Children

2010-07-19T10:29:00.000-07:00

I survived. Barely! For those of you not in the "know", Sean and I were a Ma and Pa on Trek last week. We had prepared for this literally for weeks. All that running I have done sure came in handy, that's for sure.

Here we are before we started. At this point we didn't have our "kids" yet, we hadn't loaded up our handcart, or even started getting dirty. That would all change right after this picture was snapped.

And here's the first "family" picture. I have to say, I was worried about being in charge of 8 kids, especially 8 teenagers, but they put all my worries to rest. Every one of them was amazing. Not one drama queen, and they were all super hard workers. See those 2 cute girls on the right? It's always the quiet ones you have to worry about. More on that later.

Setting up our first camp after trekking for 4 miles was tough. It was hot, we were tired, and all we wanted to do was take a shower and eat. Sadly, showers were 100 miles away, and the food was still hours off. We hung out and got to know our family. Turns out I am related to one boy, and his cousin was here visiting from Arkansas. He was also related to another boy in our family, so we really were like an actual family! After we took this picture we ate dinner, and then square danced our little hearts out. Sean was tearing it up out there in the cow pattied field. I was proud of my Pa.

And here's the quiet mischievous ones. Each morning we were woken up with the sound of a siren from our leaders bull horn. Everyone joked that they were going to steal that bull horn so he couldn't wake us up so early. Well, the last morning, we were woken up by the sound of a stick hitting a pie plate because somebody finally followed through with their plan of stealing the bull horn. About 15 minutes after the wake up call, we hear through the bull horn, "Everyone, please go back to sleep!" coming from our girls tent! These innocent little girls had stolen the bull horn the night before and slept with it all night! I was so proud of them! I do love a little mischief once in a while.

And here's two of my favorite Ma's. These ladies are exceptional people. I am so blessed to call them friends.

Trek was such a wonderful experience. I wish I could put into words the feelings that working hard and playing hard under such different circumstances produces, but unless you've been there, you just can't explain it. My kids endured blisters, heat, and the women did an incredible job pulling the cart up the hill on the womens pull. My boys even carried one of my girls for a short distance, each taking a turn so they could get her to the medical tent in a hurry. She was fine, but it was still scary and heartwarming to see them take such a responsibility for their sister.

I would do Trek again in a second. I loved it, hated it, grew so much, and discovered that there is no way in Hell I could have been a true pioneer. The Lord sent me here at this time and place for a purpose, and although life is still hard, the physical struggles of the handcart pioneers would have killed me.

A Plan Of Action

2010-07-12T11:09:00.000-07:00

Remember how my husband lost his job? Remember how we moved back to Utah for school? Remember how we gave up much of what we had so we could afford to live on savings and my sole income so Sean could go to school?

That is our plan.

I just thought I'd reiterate that point since sometimes I forget that there is a greater purpose to all this.

Tell me we aren't the first people in the world to go to school with kids and no job. Tell me it's a noble cause, and we're doing the right thing. Tell me it's okay to want for things and not be able to have them because it's only temporary and soon enough things will be fine.

I promise we're not deadbeats. I promise Sean isn't just lying around being lazy on the days he doesn't have school. I promise that despite his pretty loaded down schedule, he still applies for numerous jobs, pays the bills, does laundry, and cleans the house.

I know so many people who go to school and work. I admire that. I really do. And trust me, if that opportunity came our way, we would totally do it too. But at this time, there is no other choice. Jobs aren't plentiful for what Sean does, so pickings are slim. It's not a matter of if he wants a job, it a matter of there just aren't any out there.

But again, we have a plan.

I just need to be reminded. Again. I tend to forget. And I think some people think we're just being lazy. I promise, there is a higher purpose to all this. One day it will be worth it. One day.

Free To Speak

2010-07-05T15:33:00.000-07:00

Happy 4th of July. Even though it's the 5th. But since today is the holiday from work, er, I mean school, I'm celebrating today.

So here's to freedom.

One of my favorite freedoms? Freedom of speech, of course! I love being able to say what I want, when I want, and to whom I want. That pretty much rocks.

And all the others are pretty awesome, too.

So take some time today and say whatever the heck you want, just because you can.

And then remember our other freedoms, and the fact that they are priceless.

Eclipse

2010-06-26T06:14:00.001-07:00

Some of you may mistake that title for the movie release.

Nope.

There was an actual eclipse.

Now, I don't know if the smartypantses over at Twilight knew that when they decided to release the movie, but boy howdy, if they did, I've severely underestimated the power of the vampires.

I woke up 4 kids at 5 AM to go outside and see said eclipse. It was only a partial lunar eclipse, but still, in my geeky world, that warrants an early morning wake up call. The kids all lumbered to the lawn, did the appropriate amount of oohing and ahhing, then returned to bed, where they all still lie.

Me, I couldn't get back to sleep. So I donned my hat and shorts, oh, and a shirt, too, and headed out for a run. I ran into the eclipsed moon. Then it faltered behind the western horizon and I ran into the beginnings of a new day. The sun was just peeking over the peaks (that's clever, no?) as I finished up my 5.92 miles. Life is good.

The next lunar eclipse is in December of this year, and it will be a total eclipse (of the heart. You're singing it, aren't you?). If my calculations are correct, the next time there will be two lunar eclipses at the respective solstices will be in 68 years. Okay, I may have cheated on those calculations, but you thought I was smart for a sec, huh? I don't really know what it said, but something about 68 years, and I don't want to miss out, because I'm fairly certain I don't want to be around in 68 years from now.

So for today, I am eclipsed. Happy, sweaty, stinky, and still a little weirded out about the whole movie Eclipse and the actual eclipse coinciding.

Barren

2010-06-14T16:36:00.001-07:00

Remember that one time I posted about having more babies? Turns out I don't need to worry about it.

My sisters have taken care of that for me.

Now I am the only biological sister that isn't with child. (Kelli isn't either, as far as I know, but since she isn't technically a sister, she doesn't count. But I count her as a sister, just so you know.)

That's right, Jill is with child, as is Meg.

Meg didn't even tell me. Even when we went to lunch together and I had to drop her off at her Ladytown doctor and I jokingly said I felt like I was dropping her off for an abortion. Even when we were at Lake Mead with her for a week. Even when I told her she shouldn't be holding Gretta in her condition, ha ha. Even when I told her her boobs looked big and her face was breaking out and she was peeing like every 2 minutes instead of every 5.

Do you feel guilty yet, Meg?

Don't.

I love it! I love that I "knew" and she was stubborn enough to keep it a secret until she was ready to tell. I love that I have 2 new family members on the way that I get to spoil and love and adore. I love that even though I am the only barren sister, I'm totally okay with that.

And I love my sisters. All 3 of them.

It's Not You, It's Me

2010-06-07T08:48:00.000-07:00

It's June, which means a couple of things around here.

First, it means snow. Covering the lawn, the car, filling up the gutters, and flying through the air in clouds of white. No, we do not live below the equator. No, we do not live in the Arctic Circle.

Mmm, Arctic Circle chocolate brown topper, mmm. Oh, sorry, I was distracted by the idea of ice cream there for a sec.

Snow, yes, snow. Not the cold kind of snow, but the fluffy, cottony, sneeze inducing tree slough that drives me crazy. I do not for the life of me understand why people plant Cottonwood Trees deliberately. People, they shed. They're gross. Yes, I understand they grow like weeds, maybe that should be a clue. Anyway, all the tree snow made me cut my run short this morning, so that really put me in a mood.

Second, it means blog slacking time. You know, I take off every summer because life just gets too crazy to blog every day. Remember that one year I decided to take off for the summer and ended up having to not only blog daily on my own blog, but start a new blog while my mom died of cancer? Yeah, that was a great summer off from blogging. This summer let us all pray to whomever you choose to pray to that I won't ever have to do that again. Ever. Thanks.

So I'll be on and off, you know, when something awesome happens, like when I win the Publishers Clearinghouse $10,000,000 or when I spontaneously lose 50 pounds. You can totally bet I'll blog about those things. But for the most part, lower your expectations of me just this once. It's nothing personal, I promise. I still love you. I do.

I do.

Honor Code

2010-06-02T09:05:00.000-07:00

Sean started back to school today. Normally when my kids start school, I do a dance on the table because I'm overjoyed to have my days back to normal.

Today, I didn't really do that. I'm sort of sad to lose my househusband. He's been doing all the wifely duties (well, not all of them, I'm still the only one who can do certain things of that nature), and that has given me a lot of time to run, and work, and read, and just hang out. See, I'm sad.

He did have to do something that he dreads though. He had to shave off his goatee. Well, it's not really a goatee, because I think a true goatee involves connecting chin hair to lip hair, and he cannot for the life of him grow lip hair. So maybe that makes it just a goat. Or maybe just a Tee. Anyway, he told me he was jealous of me. Not because I get to stay home and chill with the kids, but because I get to keep my mustache.

Jerk.

I think he's just jealous.

And for the record, I work dang hard at keeping this puppy at bay. We're talking Nair, hot wax, plucking and lots and lots of praying. It's not my fault that he had to sign the honor code and I didn't. Maybe I'll let it grow out just to spite him.

But It's A Dry Heat

2010-06-01T09:46:00.000-07:00

Yesterday was a great day. A day off work (ha ha, every day is a day off work!), the program at the cemetery honoring our fallen troops, seeing all the beautiful flowers at my moms grave, and spending awesome quality time with extended family that I've grown to appreciate more than I ever thought possible over the last few years.

A great day indeed.

But it got a little hot there in the afternoon. Not that I'm complaining, because I would never complain. (sense the sarcasm, mmkay?) I got a little sunburned, which is fine around the front side of the shirt area, but the hump got burned, too. I hate that. Red itchy hump is not pretty, not that regular white zitty hump is any better, but come on.

And the heat has one other crappy side effect. Nose bleeds. Bring them on. I got one last night, Gretta ended up with one at 5 this morning, and I feel another one coming on soon. I'm sure Emma will follow suit, because she's just like me when it comes to that.

I love summer, I'm so glad it's here (sort of here, it's like 2 steps forward, one step back, crazy Utah weather), but I'm not glad to have the side effects of red hump and bleeding orifices.

At least it's a dry heat.

Ooh, Baby Baby

2010-05-27T10:03:00.001-07:00

I have 3 girls. I love them dearly. Most of the time. Right now the 3 year old is riding hard on my last nerve, and most days I can scarcely make it through without reprimanding her at least a few times. That's my literary way of saying I have to tell her to knock it off repeatedly, or she's grounded.

She doesn't care, because she doesn't know what grounded even means. Perhaps I should use a better tactic?

Anywho, people ask me all the time if I'm ever sad that we don't have a boy. They think that Sean needs a son, or that somehow our family isn't complete because we only have girls. I say we're done.

But.

Yeah. There's a huge but. That's b-u-t, not b-u-t-t, which I don't have because I have no butt. But I have a but when it comes to the family tree. Last night we were watching the Duggars (whom I love to pieces, as we all know) and Sean starts in that he wants another baby. He doesn't even care if it's a girl or a boy.

Oy.

Let's revisit the last pregnancy, shall we? Weeks 3-7, miserably sick. Weeks 7-16, still sick, bedbound and unable to walk or get dressed or bathe or cough or sneeze without screaming in pain. Weeks 17-24, pleasant and comfortable. Weeks 25-36, bedbound again with blood pressure through the roof, culminating in a birth a month early. And what did all this misery get me? An annoying 3 year old.

Yeah, lets do that again.

So I say we're done. Sean says that's fine. But if he brings up the baby thing, does that mean we're not done? Do men get a say in this? Or should I just junk punch him in his giant inflated scrotum and tell him to mind his own business, because it's my uterus?

How did you know when it was time for another or when you were done?

Where My B!tches At?

2010-05-25T16:19:00.000-07:00

I have a confession to make. I'm a judger. Especially when it comes to some of the women that live in the neighborhood where my kid goes to school. I won't say where, and will say that I do know some of these women personally, and I don't think this about them. Only about the ones I don't know, and about the one I met today.

Oh, the one I met today.

From the second I walked in to that Payless, I knew she was one of these moms. Flower in her jet black with highlights hair, True Religion jeans, Uggs, and kids all dressed alike, like some sort of accessories.

We picked out our shoes and a purse, and proceeded to stand in the checkout line. There was a line 4 deep, and while we stood there, it gained a few people.

This mom has the cojones to butt in line and ask the checker, the only employee in the store, mind you, to measure her kids foot. Then the other foot. Then the rest of the kids. All 4 of them. Wha? And the checker, who is 16 years old, new in braces, and barely able to hold her head upright due to her shyness, of course gives in and starts helping this mom. I impatiently snort my disapproval several times, but the checker gives me no mind. The mom behind me agrees.

Then this mom gets the nerve to ask the employee, who has left a line of potentially PAYING customers, to go in back and check on sizes. This really gets me snorting.

When she finally returns to the register, 15 minutes later, she asks if I need anything else. I promptly tell her I've waited long enough, just ring me up so I can leave. This mom gets all huffy in my face saying how she didn't bring a stroller that day and doesn't want to set her baby on the ground to measure his feet. I told her she should have waited in line until it was her turn, then have the lady tend to her needs. We were all prepared to spend money that day, and therefore had precedence. Words ensued, she accused me of having a miserable life and not understanding how hard it is with kids, blah blah blah, I didn't really listen because I was too busy laughing in my head that this mom just cemented my opinion of most of the moms in this neighborhood.

Needless to say, I did all of this while maintaining composure (Thank you, Zoloft), and not using one curse word! I know, right? That never happens! I was quite proud of me for standing up for my opinion, not letting some skinny bitch with accessory children intimidate me, and doing it all appropriately. The woman behind me gave me a little wink as I left the store, so that just cemented my pride.

I'm still debating calling Payless and speaking to a manager about why on earth they would find it okay to leave a 16 year old shy employee alone in a store. That bothers me, especially if it was my 16 year old daughter. Anything could happen in there. I probably won't, because I've calmed down and I have other crap to do tonight, but really. Some people.

Whew. I feel much better.