Friday, August 19, 2011

Doing It

You know, it's hard getting divorced. It is. You'd think I would have realized this before, but until you're in the middle of it all, you don't realize all the crap that comes along with it.

This has nothing to do with me and Sean, we get along well, it has more to do with me. I've been taken care of most of my life by someone else, and I've taken it for granted all these years. This is the first time in about 20 years that I've had to stress about money and time management, and calling here and there and making sure this and that get taken care of. I've said it before, and I'll say it again....

Being a grown up is hard.

But there is an upside to all this. I feel pretty empowered knowing I can do these things on my own. The first time I used my very own debit card, and it worked, I nearly cried. The first time I called about a bill that had been paid but not shown as such, and got it taken care of, I nearly yelled in victory. I can do this. I can. I can. I can.

I keep telling myself this over and over and over.

I have to remember that there is a plan in store for me. I have hopes and dreams, and I'm not letting this little bump in the road ruin it for me. It might take me longer to get where I want to be, but I know I can still do it. And even though it's hard right now, I know it won't always be this way. This too shall pass. My mom told me this as her wise sage advice before she died, and it has become my mantra these last few months.

I'm glad to see how much my family cares about me and how much they support me. I'm lucky to have great friends who give me motivation to keep it up and keep moving forward. I'm glad I have great kids that handle this well, and will talk to me about it. And I'm glad for all the lessons I've learned up to this point in my life to prepare me for this. It's all about the plan, and doing it.

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