Showing posts with label why I'm not martha. Show all posts
Showing posts with label why I'm not martha. Show all posts

Tuesday, May 10, 2011

Curses

This is a totally judge-free zone, mmmkay? Just so we're clear, I've never made any innuendo that I am actually mother of the year, it's merely a sarcastic joke. You'll see what I mean in a sec.


My name is Keli, and I'm a cusser. (This is where you all say "Hello, Keli," and nod your head approvingly at my desire to bear my soul to you.)


It's true, you know. I'm a cusser. I always have been. I remember distinctly the very first time I said a cuss word. I was in 5th grade. And it just came out. Just popped right out! I was as shocked as my friend that was on the receiving end of it. It was just a "damn", but it was significant. I still remember what it felt like, where I was standing, and even the book that was on the desk in front of me.


But honestly, 5th grade? Why was I even aware of cuss words in 5th grade? I have one answer to that. It's in my genes. My grandpa was a cusser, and my dad was a cusser. I don't think I heard my mom utter more than a few curse words in her life, and most of them were due to my misbehaving and they were usually muttered under her breath. But me? I just have it in me. It's not something I'm proud of.


I have made concerted efforts repeatedly in my life to overcome my curse word affinity, but I always fall back into the same patterns. It doesn't help that I have a bad temper. Those two character traits seem to feed on one another.


So why am I telling you this, you ask? Because I have become very aware of my use of curse words, and my bad influence on people (Jill). My kids notice, and say, "Mom, you shouldn't swear!" And I say I know, but I'm a grown up, blah blah blah. But that's no excuse. So mostly I'm just putting this out there to have it as a record for myself. I need to stop cussing. I need to work on controlling my anger. I need to be a better example to my kids and to certain people. (Jill).


Remember, this is a judge-free zone. I don't need snarky comments about how you never swear and people that do have an obviously lacking grasp of the English language, otherwise they could come up with better words than curse words. I need comments letting me know I'm not alone in my cave of curses, and that you totally get where I'm coming from, because you yourself find comfort in an occasional curse word, especially when your kids have been working your last nerve all day, and you JUST CAN'T TAKE IT ANYMORE!


See? Mother of the year, indeed.


That's what I need.


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Tuesday, October 13, 2009

More Reasons I Hate Martha

This morning I was enjoying a rare respite between kids leaving for school and Gretta waking up to demand breakfast (Among other things, well all things, really, but that's an entirely different post).

I clicked on the tube, which I don't usually do until lunch time, and caught the last 30 or 40 minutes of the LMN beauty that is Martha: The Story of Martha Stewart. Later today they will be showing Martha Behind Bars. I don't wanna miss that one, fo sho.

Don't ask me why I felt compelled to sit and watch. I don't like Cybill Shepard, who plays a less than convincing likeness of Martha. The acting was terrible. The story line was painful.

And then it just ended.

No wrapping things up, no final dramatic scene, it just sort of ended with a shot of her walking through a small town livestock festival like some sort of Goddess.

Weird.

But even though I don't like Martha per se, I don't really hate her. I just hate that she has set such a high standard for us stay at home types, one we can never achieve without sacrificing all the things we choose to stay home for.

She does make a killer cake stand, and some nice comfy sheets, though. So props to her for that.

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