Jogging and Thongs

I was lying awake one night, I seem to have caught my mom's penchant for early morning SVU reruns, and I was composing what seemed like a pretty hilarious blog post. It was 4 AM. Lots of things seem different at 4 AM.

But I still think it's pretty clever, if not hilarious. And at least it's a post, no?

So I took Emma out for a little run the other day. She's a trooper. She likes to run, and she likes to take walk breaks, which is totally fine with me. It got me thinking back to when I was kid, and my dad used to take us jogging with him once in a while. What ever happened to jogging? Just the word conjures up images of leisurely running by neighbors and waving a hearty "Hello!", then returning to a prancing gallop down the street.

Suddenly now it's become running. Running and keeping track of our heart rate and our distance to the step. Running and carrying water bottles and gel packs. Running and getting so focused on our breathing and our stride and our playlist shoved into our ears, so we don't even notice our friendly neighbors as we pass.

I miss jogging. I think I'm going to bring back jogging.

The other things I miss are thongs. Ah, thongs that you could wear to the beach, or around town. Now thongs are something completely different, although I'm sure you could still wear them to the beach and around town.

Mostly I miss the way things used to be. Slower pace, simpler, more down home. Now we deal with email and traffic and the hustle and bustle of getting through each day in one piece.

If you see me out jogging in my thongs, you'll understand that I'm just trying to get back to my roots.

Just When Things Are Running Smoothly

So as you can see on my side bar over there <----, I have successfully logged some miles for this month. Yay for me.

Boo for injuries resulting from said mileage.

It would seem that despite my best efforts at being a trooper and buckling down and getting my happy ass out the door to run and complete my goal, I have suffered a strain to my Peroneal Tendons.

I need to reiterate, this has no affiliation whatsoever with the Perineal anything. Totally different part of the body.

But this stinking injury has really put me in a mood. Now I can hardly walk, let alone run, and I just know I'll miss my goal for this month. The first month in, and I'll fail. What a way to start off the year. Bummer.

But I also know that unless I take it easy and let this thing heal appropriately, I'll be battling it all year, and that would be worse.

So I'm giving myself a pass on this one. I'm gonna bow out of January gracefully, and let myself pick up when I've healed fully. I know, I know, it seems like I'm just one of those people that sets goals and then doesn't follow through. I totally am, by the way, but not this time. I'll take whatever mileage I'm lacking at the end of January, and divide it into the remaining months, so when the year is all said and done, I will still have completed the initial amount of miles.

Win win. Good and good.

Because I'm Totally Failing

As you may notice, I have accumulated exactly 0 miles toward my goal of running 26.2 miles this month. I'm a winner. First month in and I'm already failing.

I have lots of good excuses, though. This reminds me of an ancient Chinese proverb that Sean reminds me of repeatedly.

"Excuses are like butt holes. Everyone has one, and they all stink."

Ahh, poetry.


In an attempt to quell the voices of failure that are rampant in my head right now, I am actually doing something good for my body. I am currently, as we speak, presently, eating a cup of fruit.

Eating would be a word I'm using loosely, because mostly I'm gagging it down one piece at a time.

I searched out a specific kind of fruit cup, the ones that are being advertised as being packed in 100% juice, because I thought they would be easier to eat than the ones packed in ooey gooey syrupy ick.

Turns out, the juice packed ones aren't making it that much easier on my fruit-phobic palate.

But it is thwarting the failure feeling inside me by distracting the voices from saying "nee nee nee nee nee, we knew you couldn't do it!" to a glom of confusion with this new healthy snack.

Just when I think the voices have triumphed, they are the ones that are failing! Take that, voices! Ha!

I Resolve

Well, it's that time of year again. The time when we all make promises to ourselves that we're certain we won't keep, thus leading to immense feelings of guilt and failure. Sort of like the reason I don't send out Christmas cards, remember?

There was a time, a long time ago it seems, that I made a resolution for the new year, and it actually worked. I resolved to read each Ensign from start to finish for the entire year. I did it. I really did. I gained a new perspective on things, and it made me feel like a better person.

Then there was last year. Last year when all my hopes and dreams and aspirations basically seemed to go to Hell amidst one of life's largest upheavals. Not a good year for resolutions.

So this year I'm back on track. Literally.

I resolve to run 26.2 miles each month for 2011. I've done it once before, so I know I can do it. But I've had a few setbacks, what with the appendix out and the rib dislocation. I know to all you hard core runners that seems like a cake walk, and it really works out to be less than a mile a day. The theory I'm sticking with is aim low, then I can achieve and feel good about reaching my goal. Then maybe next time I'll aim a little higher and know I can do better. It's like a sort of stair step thing, see how that works?

So there, I've resolved to all the internets and all my readers, so I must be held accountable. I will (try to) put a mileage counter on my blog and update it as I go, which I think will be pretty cool, especially as the year winds down and I can look back at all the mileage I've completed. Hopefully I'll learn something through all this, and possibly lose a pound or two along the way.

My August Marathon

I ran a marathon! I bet you didn't even know I was in training for one, huh?

Well, I did it. And my time?

30 days.

Yep, I ran a marathon in August. All of August. 26.2 miles in 30 days. Not too shabby for my first effort, I think.



Here is proof. See, my RunKeeper app (with which I have a love hate relationship) keeps track of all my stats. Month of August comes in at 26.2 miles exactly. So I guess since there's what, like 2 days left of the month, I should just go ahead and take those days off.

Maybe my next marathon will take me less time. Like say, 15 days? I mean that would have me beating my PR by half! I'm an overachiever, what can I say.

A Short On Shorts

So I have a problem. Well, I probably have lots of problems, but one that's bugging in particular.

No, it's not the way my belly jiggles like a Jell-O mold when I run.

No, it's not the fact that my skin looks like a 14 year old boy's.

It's that when I run, my shorts, they creep. Up and up and up, until I feel like my vajazzling is hanging out. It's not really, I hope (I'm pretty sure it's not!), but I start to feel a little immodest.

I know, most normal people wear compression shorts under their running shorts. I tried that. Problem is, since they are, well, compression-y, they give me the worst muffin top Ev.Er. It's gross. It's like the Jell-O mold exploded and there are Jell-O Jiggler bodaggits bouncing around under my shirt. It's really quite ugly, and not nearly as funny as the explanation. So I quit wearing them.

Now, I don't run in the 1980's version of running shorts, just so we're clear. They are not made out of neon nylon, and they don't have slits up the sides all the way to there. They're just regular Under Armour shorts, not of immodest length. I trade off between the creepers, and my longer shorts, which don't creep, but are hot and a little cumbersome.

So I guess my problem is this: Do I wear the compression shorts and jiggle down the road, surely to garner snide and hilarious comments from drivers as they pass, or do I skip the compression shorts, and hope to all hope that my vajayjay stays covered and just pretend like I don't notice the creeping?

What would you recommend as a passerby? Would you be more apt to notice a jiggly middle, or shorty shorts that look like they are being eaten by Ladytown?

Discuss.

Eclipse

Some of you may mistake that title for the movie release.

Nope.

There was an actual eclipse.

Now, I don't know if the smartypantses over at Twilight knew that when they decided to release the movie, but boy howdy, if they did, I've severely underestimated the power of the vampires.

I woke up 4 kids at 5 AM to go outside and see said eclipse. It was only a partial lunar eclipse, but still, in my geeky world, that warrants an early morning wake up call. The kids all lumbered to the lawn, did the appropriate amount of oohing and ahhing, then returned to bed, where they all still lie.

Me, I couldn't get back to sleep. So I donned my hat and shorts, oh, and a shirt, too, and headed out for a run. I ran into the eclipsed moon. Then it faltered behind the western horizon and I ran into the beginnings of a new day. The sun was just peeking over the peaks (that's clever, no?) as I finished up my 5.92 miles. Life is good.

The next lunar eclipse is in December of this year, and it will be a total eclipse (of the heart. You're singing it, aren't you?). If my calculations are correct, the next time there will be two lunar eclipses at the respective solstices will be in 68 years. Okay, I may have cheated on those calculations, but you thought I was smart for a sec, huh? I don't really know what it said, but something about 68 years, and I don't want to miss out, because I'm fairly certain I don't want to be around in 68 years from now.

So for today, I am eclipsed. Happy, sweaty, stinky, and still a little weirded out about the whole movie Eclipse and the actual eclipse coinciding.

Of Running And Life

So I ran on Saturday. Are you tired of hearing about this yet? If you are, I apologize, but you might want to quit reading here, because similes are about to be thrown around, and it won't wax poetic by any means.

As I ran, I had some technological issues. They really sent me into a fit. My headphones broke, my Nike+iPod wasn't working and the GPS was beeping every few seconds. Things were not going well, and I was only about a mile into a brutal 3 mile uphill run. I was pretty much pissed. My iPhone is lucky it didn't meet its fate at the bottom of the Provo River. Lucky for me, Sean was there to patch up my needs with his headphones and a once-over with the GPS. He pushed me (literally) up the trail to get me started running again.

I found my groove just as I got to Bridal Veil Falls. I stopped to wait for Sean and the girls and did some light stretching. The falls are gorgeous this time of year (insert photo here, you're welcome) with the heavy run off. I almost said heavy flow, how silly would that have been?

Anyway, I got thinking.

Life is so much like running. Go ahead, say "Uh, duh genius", it's fine. I can handle your ridicule.

One day you might feel like everything is working against you. Uphill, headphones falling apart, technology spitting in your face. And you just want to quit. Luckily (hopefully), most of us have someone in our lives to patch us up and push us on our merry way.

Once Sean and the girls found me, we chilled at the falls for a few minutes, then decided to head down. Emma was on her bike, so she asked if she could ride ahead of us. I was fine with that, so she started off.

I began running down, which is easier only in theory because my toes and knees were on fire, and found a good pace. I did realize a ways down the path that Emma hadn't stopped to wait for me. Hmm. I started asking people if they had seen a little girl on a pink beach cruiser.

No one had seen her.

I started to panic a little bit. I picked up the pace. Realizing probably too late that I had already run 5 miles, I couldn't run any faster, but my heart and head were rattling off several scenarios at the speed of light. Most of the scenarios involved the "Dun dun" at the beginning of Law And Order.

I started scanning the river bank for a pink bike. I started asking every person I passed if they had seen her.

Still, no one had seen her.

My feet ached, and my heart pounded. And then I realized, this is life. We feel good and happy, then suddenly, even as we coast down a hill, things can get scary again.

Finally I reached the bottom of the path and turned off to our parking spot, and there sat Emma, happy as a clam, eating a sandwich and listening to her iPod.

I have never felt such relief in my life. 6 miles under my belt, 3 uphill and hard, and 3 downhill and terrifying. Imagine.

We stopped and had some lunch with her, and tried not to lay into her about getting lost because she didn't think she had even done anything wrong. Which, in her defense, she didn't because I told her she could ride on ahead. I guess I need to be more specific.

As lunch wrapped up, I had some nervous energy to expend, so I tackled another mile down the trail and had Sean pick me up. 7 miles. That last mile I really started thinking about how much we struggle through life, just as in running, but when we look back on what we accomplished, all we really remember are the good feelings and the progress.

I guess that's why we keep at it. Both running and life.

It's A Post, Okay?

Honestly, I have totally lost my blog mojo. It's scary, because that's sort of like losing love for my children. Okay, that may be a slight exaggeration, but my blog is such an extension of me, that it pains me to forget about it for a day or two at a time. I mean when was the last time you forgot about your kids for a day or two? Me? I plead the fifth on that one.

So I've come up with just random things that are going on in my life. If you want to stop reading now, feel free. I'm just not that exciting, I know.

My lawn needs to be mowed. Badly. We're starting to look like those neighbors. You know what I'm talking about, you all have them. Yeah, that's us.

I have a new obsession with home made tortilla chips. So good. So deep fried and salted with kosher salt. Yum.

I'm running a 5K in June. June 19th actually. I'll take buddies, so if you feel like running, give me a ring (or an email, which I'm more prone to answer anyway), and we'll do it together. It just so happens to be on the day my mom was diagnosed with cancer, so I'll be running in her memory. (insert "awwws" here.)

I'm in love with my iPhone. I can't quit it. Seriously, all those free apps, and internet everywhere? How can this not make my life so much better?

I've officially turned my wifely duties over to Sean, who has taken the reigns and sped off. He is the king of laundry, dishes, vacuuming, you name it. I'm totally spoiled.

This gives me time to surf the net and find more stuff I "need" for my running. I just bought an Amphipod belt with 2 bottles on the recommendation of a friend, and my goodness sakes, it is a life saver. I also need new shoes, better socks, a heart rate monitor that works with my Garmin, and more music for my playlists. I don't think that's too much to ask, do you?

So that's pretty much it. Like I said, if you kept reading, I'm not that exciting. Not that I'm complaining, I've had my fill of changes and excitement for a while. But at least I got a post out of all that, so there.

FFF

Today's FFF is more for me than you. Sorry.

When do you become a "runner" as opposed to someone who runs? I've never really been either of these until recently. And I've mostly counted myself as someone who runs. You know how it is, I go out, run until I can't run no more, then go home, binge eat on Pringles and Coke, and wonder why I can't beat my best time of a 30 minute mile.

Until today. Today was different.

So far my best distance has been 4.6 miles. Not bad, I know. I almost stroked out the last 100 yards, but I didn't, and I recovered. Today I topped that with 5.18 miles. Pretty stinking good, if I do say so myself. And specific. 5.18. Not 5.2. Not 5.1. 5.18.

Somehow I must have stepped in concrete at the last turn, because my feet literally felt like they had cement blocks on them. I've never felt that before. I almost blew chunks on some dudes lawn, but I held it in, and continued "running", which was really more like a drunken stumble, for the last .18.

That was when I knew I had become a runner.

Happy Friday!

Monday Monday

Each day, while taking my kids to school, I see a plethora of exercisers and the like out and about. I imagine they have all been out running miles and miles before I ever see them, but since I'm in a neighborhood, I'm sure they've probably just started.

But this gets me thinking that I need to get back out there. I just need more support. The kind of support I need was told as a story on Radio From Hell this morning. I'll recap for you.

Richie was out for a training run for the Vancouver Marathon that is in a few weeks. He had just started when he came upon an intersection of roads that was closed. His first thought was that perhaps there had been an accident of some kind, until he saw a runner go by. He then realized the road was closed for the SLC Marathon.

So what did he do? He joined in. He ran along side the competitors, drank their Powerade and soaked up the encouraging claps and whistles as he ran the final 13 miles of the marathon route. And at the end, he just ducked out a few yards from the finish, called his girlfriend to come and pick him up, and had a beer at home.

Now that is my kind of support. Road closed, free Powerade at various intervals, and crowds of cheering spectators, all for a little run.

Anyone up for a run tonight?

I Was Run-Ning

I've had this weird thing in my head for a while now. Some might call it a thought, some might call it a goal, I just call it craziness. But the craziness is telling me I want to be a runner. I know, right? If you've seen me, and most of you have, I don't look like a runner. There's a lot of jiggling going on just walking, so running just seems insane.

But still, every time I see a runner on the road, I examine the form they keep, the shirt they're wearing, and I always wonder what they're listening to on the iPod.

So yesterday was such a nice day, I decided it was time to take that first step. I donned my walking shoes, my golfing socks, my yoga shorts, my nylon hoodie, and Sean's giant iPod and headed out. I know, how could I not go wrong with the appropriate attire involved?

So I ran. And I kept running! And I didn't die! I actually enjoyed it. I'm a little sore this morning, nothing more than expected, and I feel pretty good.

I've been inspired by so many of my bloggy friends that run. Some are beginners, some are experienced racers, and most are in between. But what I get from each of them is that the trick to running is there is no trick. You just have to run. Even when you don't feel like it.

Maybe I can keep it up for a while and get the most of the beautiful Spring weather. Maybe one day I'll run a marathon. Or maybe I'll give up and just go back to wanting to be a runner. Either way, yesterday was a good day to go running.