Thursday, May 27, 2010

Ooh, Baby Baby

I have 3 girls. I love them dearly. Most of the time. Right now the 3 year old is riding hard on my last nerve, and most days I can scarcely make it through without reprimanding her at least a few times. That's my literary way of saying I have to tell her to knock it off repeatedly, or she's grounded.

She doesn't care, because she doesn't know what grounded even means. Perhaps I should use a better tactic?

Anywho, people ask me all the time if I'm ever sad that we don't have a boy. They think that Sean needs a son, or that somehow our family isn't complete because we only have girls. I say we're done.


Yeah. There's a huge but. That's b-u-t, not b-u-t-t, which I don't have because I have no butt. But I have a but when it comes to the family tree. Last night we were watching the Duggars (whom I love to pieces, as we all know) and Sean starts in that he wants another baby. He doesn't even care if it's a girl or a boy.


Let's revisit the last pregnancy, shall we? Weeks 3-7, miserably sick. Weeks 7-16, still sick, bedbound and unable to walk or get dressed or bathe or cough or sneeze without screaming in pain. Weeks 17-24, pleasant and comfortable. Weeks 25-36, bedbound again with blood pressure through the roof, culminating in a birth a month early. And what did all this misery get me? An annoying 3 year old.

Yeah, lets do that again.

So I say we're done. Sean says that's fine. But if he brings up the baby thing, does that mean we're not done? Do men get a say in this? Or should I just junk punch him in his giant inflated scrotum and tell him to mind his own business, because it's my uterus?

How did you know when it was time for another or when you were done?

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Tuesday, May 25, 2010

Where My B!tches At?

I have a confession to make. I'm a judger. Especially when it comes to some of the women that live in the neighborhood where my kid goes to school. I won't say where, and will say that I do know some of these women personally, and I don't think this about them. Only about the ones I don't know, and about the one I met today.

Oh, the one I met today.

From the second I walked in to that Payless, I knew she was one of these moms. Flower in her jet black with highlights hair, True Religion jeans, Uggs, and kids all dressed alike, like some sort of accessories.

We picked out our shoes and a purse, and proceeded to stand in the checkout line. There was a line 4 deep, and while we stood there, it gained a few people.

This mom has the cojones to butt in line and ask the checker, the only employee in the store, mind you, to measure her kids foot. Then the other foot. Then the rest of the kids. All 4 of them. Wha? And the checker, who is 16 years old, new in braces, and barely able to hold her head upright due to her shyness, of course gives in and starts helping this mom. I impatiently snort my disapproval several times, but the checker gives me no mind. The mom behind me agrees.

Then this mom gets the nerve to ask the employee, who has left a line of potentially PAYING customers, to go in back and check on sizes. This really gets me snorting.

When she finally returns to the register, 15 minutes later, she asks if I need anything else. I promptly tell her I've waited long enough, just ring me up so I can leave. This mom gets all huffy in my face saying how she didn't bring a stroller that day and doesn't want to set her baby on the ground to measure his feet. I told her she should have waited in line until it was her turn, then have the lady tend to her needs. We were all prepared to spend money that day, and therefore had precedence. Words ensued, she accused me of having a miserable life and not understanding how hard it is with kids, blah blah blah, I didn't really listen because I was too busy laughing in my head that this mom just cemented my opinion of most of the moms in this neighborhood.

Needless to say, I did all of this while maintaining composure (Thank you, Zoloft), and not using one curse word! I know, right? That never happens! I was quite proud of me for standing up for my opinion, not letting some skinny bitch with accessory children intimidate me, and doing it all appropriately. The woman behind me gave me a little wink as I left the store, so that just cemented my pride.

I'm still debating calling Payless and speaking to a manager about why on earth they would find it okay to leave a 16 year old shy employee alone in a store. That bothers me, especially if it was my 16 year old daughter. Anything could happen in there. I probably won't, because I've calmed down and I have other crap to do tonight, but really. Some people.

Whew. I feel much better.

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Monday, May 24, 2010

Of Running And Life

So I ran on Saturday. Are you tired of hearing about this yet? If you are, I apologize, but you might want to quit reading here, because similes are about to be thrown around, and it won't wax poetic by any means.

As I ran, I had some technological issues. They really sent me into a fit. My headphones broke, my Nike+iPod wasn't working and the GPS was beeping every few seconds. Things were not going well, and I was only about a mile into a brutal 3 mile uphill run. I was pretty much pissed. My iPhone is lucky it didn't meet its fate at the bottom of the Provo River. Lucky for me, Sean was there to patch up my needs with his headphones and a once-over with the GPS. He pushed me (literally) up the trail to get me started running again.

I found my groove just as I got to Bridal Veil Falls. I stopped to wait for Sean and the girls and did some light stretching. The falls are gorgeous this time of year (insert photo here, you're welcome) with the heavy run off. I almost said heavy flow, how silly would that have been?

Anyway, I got thinking.

Life is so much like running. Go ahead, say "Uh, duh genius", it's fine. I can handle your ridicule.

One day you might feel like everything is working against you. Uphill, headphones falling apart, technology spitting in your face. And you just want to quit. Luckily (hopefully), most of us have someone in our lives to patch us up and push us on our merry way.

Once Sean and the girls found me, we chilled at the falls for a few minutes, then decided to head down. Emma was on her bike, so she asked if she could ride ahead of us. I was fine with that, so she started off.

I began running down, which is easier only in theory because my toes and knees were on fire, and found a good pace. I did realize a ways down the path that Emma hadn't stopped to wait for me. Hmm. I started asking people if they had seen a little girl on a pink beach cruiser.

No one had seen her.

I started to panic a little bit. I picked up the pace. Realizing probably too late that I had already run 5 miles, I couldn't run any faster, but my heart and head were rattling off several scenarios at the speed of light. Most of the scenarios involved the "Dun dun" at the beginning of Law And Order.

I started scanning the river bank for a pink bike. I started asking every person I passed if they had seen her.

Still, no one had seen her.

My feet ached, and my heart pounded. And then I realized, this is life. We feel good and happy, then suddenly, even as we coast down a hill, things can get scary again.

Finally I reached the bottom of the path and turned off to our parking spot, and there sat Emma, happy as a clam, eating a sandwich and listening to her iPod.

I have never felt such relief in my life. 6 miles under my belt, 3 uphill and hard, and 3 downhill and terrifying. Imagine.

We stopped and had some lunch with her, and tried not to lay into her about getting lost because she didn't think she had even done anything wrong. Which, in her defense, she didn't because I told her she could ride on ahead. I guess I need to be more specific.

As lunch wrapped up, I had some nervous energy to expend, so I tackled another mile down the trail and had Sean pick me up. 7 miles. That last mile I really started thinking about how much we struggle through life, just as in running, but when we look back on what we accomplished, all we really remember are the good feelings and the progress.

I guess that's why we keep at it. Both running and life.

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Thursday, May 20, 2010

It's A Post, Okay?

Honestly, I have totally lost my blog mojo. It's scary, because that's sort of like losing love for my children. Okay, that may be a slight exaggeration, but my blog is such an extension of me, that it pains me to forget about it for a day or two at a time. I mean when was the last time you forgot about your kids for a day or two? Me? I plead the fifth on that one.

So I've come up with just random things that are going on in my life. If you want to stop reading now, feel free. I'm just not that exciting, I know.

My lawn needs to be mowed. Badly. We're starting to look like those neighbors. You know what I'm talking about, you all have them. Yeah, that's us.

I have a new obsession with home made tortilla chips. So good. So deep fried and salted with kosher salt. Yum.

I'm running a 5K in June. June 19th actually. I'll take buddies, so if you feel like running, give me a ring (or an email, which I'm more prone to answer anyway), and we'll do it together. It just so happens to be on the day my mom was diagnosed with cancer, so I'll be running in her memory. (insert "awwws" here.)

I'm in love with my iPhone. I can't quit it. Seriously, all those free apps, and internet everywhere? How can this not make my life so much better?

I've officially turned my wifely duties over to Sean, who has taken the reigns and sped off. He is the king of laundry, dishes, vacuuming, you name it. I'm totally spoiled.

This gives me time to surf the net and find more stuff I "need" for my running. I just bought an Amphipod belt with 2 bottles on the recommendation of a friend, and my goodness sakes, it is a life saver. I also need new shoes, better socks, a heart rate monitor that works with my Garmin, and more music for my playlists. I don't think that's too much to ask, do you?

So that's pretty much it. Like I said, if you kept reading, I'm not that exciting. Not that I'm complaining, I've had my fill of changes and excitement for a while. But at least I got a post out of all that, so there.

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Wednesday, May 19, 2010

Lake Mead Photo Phest

I have been admonished to put more pictures on my blog, and let me tell you, when I'm admonished, stuff gets done.

So here you go.

Gretta hiding in the boat.

The G's drinking their chockey mokey together. Please note Gracie's tiny pajamas.

Emma vogueing (voguing?) for the camera.

This is pretty much what our trips to Jill's look like. Gathered around the table, laughing and eating.


There you go. Like I said, stuff gets done.

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Monday, May 17, 2010

Southern Comfort

We headed to Vegas last week to visit my sister and take on Lake Mead. Those of you that follow me on Facebook (which should be all of you, because if you think this blog is hilarious, you'll love my over the top, way too personal status updates), have seen my fancy schmancy Hipstamatic For iPhone pics from our trip.

It was good times.

We ate lots, played lots, skied lots, swam lots, applied sunscreen lots, drank cokes lots, and drove lots. How can that not be fun? Really, it was a blast.

Then Boomer died. He was my sisters dog. That pretty much put a huge damper on the whole week. He got hit by a car. That's not technically what killed him. Sean was around, so he did his dogly duty and rose to the occasion. It has sort of become Sean's job in this family. I'm pretty sure every family has one. No? Oh.

Well, despite that, we had a good time. Except Boomer. Poor little dude.

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Friday, May 7, 2010


Today's FFF is more for me than you. Sorry.

When do you become a "runner" as opposed to someone who runs? I've never really been either of these until recently. And I've mostly counted myself as someone who runs. You know how it is, I go out, run until I can't run no more, then go home, binge eat on Pringles and Coke, and wonder why I can't beat my best time of a 30 minute mile.

Until today. Today was different.

So far my best distance has been 4.6 miles. Not bad, I know. I almost stroked out the last 100 yards, but I didn't, and I recovered. Today I topped that with 5.18 miles. Pretty stinking good, if I do say so myself. And specific. 5.18. Not 5.2. Not 5.1. 5.18.

Somehow I must have stepped in concrete at the last turn, because my feet literally felt like they had cement blocks on them. I've never felt that before. I almost blew chunks on some dudes lawn, but I held it in, and continued "running", which was really more like a drunken stumble, for the last .18.

That was when I knew I had become a runner.

Happy Friday!

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Thursday, May 6, 2010

Mom's Day Week

I totally got spoiled this year for Mother's Day. I usually do, but especially this year.

First, I splurged and bought myself some new running shorts. I've been running in my tennis shorts with a bike jersey and golf socks and walking shoes. I had to upgrade at least one of these items. Sean said I could do it, so I counted my new shorts as my gift. And I was absolutely thrilled!

Then I got my hair done. Cut, colored, and highlighted. And by someone else! It's been years since I've had anyone else color my hair. It looks great! So I counted that, too, and figured I was good to go.

But then he said I should get a new outfit for our trip to Lake Mead on Monday. I couldn't let him down, so I had to get new capris, a shirt, and a cute new swimsuit cover up. I was definitely good to go, and I felt so spoiled! Life is good.

Then yesterday, after my second run of the day (I had to try out my new shorts after they arrived!), Sean took me to get my iPod screen cover fixed. Little did I know that he had something more in mind. It was also time to upgrade my phone, so I scored a new iPhone! We also got Sean one, because the business can pay for them, and it was only $10 more for him.

So now I totally feel spoiled. I mean, I should, because we all know I'm totally the mother of the year and all, but how will I ever top this for Father's Day? I will, because I already know what Sean is getting and he. will. love. it!

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Wednesday, May 5, 2010

Cinco De Mayo

Hooray for a reason to eat Mexican food. I freaking love Mexican food. I totally should have been a Mexican. Except that then I would get deported when I visit Arizona, and my family would have to make do without me.

That wouldn't be much fun. For them.

For me? Totally fun. I could live it up pretty good there in Mexico on a beach with a margarita and a hammock.

But for tonight we just celebrated by eating Pioneer Woman's enchiladas. Muy delicioso.

With Spanish like that, how could I not love Mexico?

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Tuesday, May 4, 2010

Mom's Day Week

I can't believe Sunday is Mother's Day. I miss my mom, everyday, but especially on Mother's Day. A couple of years ago before she got sick, I did a Mother's Day Week tribute all about the reasons I love being a mom, and wrapped it up with a special tribute to my own mom, and the funny things we remembered about her. I treasure those posts now.

Lately around here "mom" has become a pretty loosely used term. Sean is off school until June 2nd, and I'm the one going to work now. Not daily, but most days. I think the kids have made a shift in their thinking because suddenly they have started asking Sean to do things that they would normally bug me about.

He's their new mom, I guess.

He's a good mom, too. He does laundry, dishes, cleans, and fixes the various needs around the house.

Even though I don't have my own mom around, I'm glad he's taken over part of my job so I can have more time to do the things I need to do.

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