The Cycle

Where do I even begin?  This past month has gone by so quickly, I can't even begin to think of all the things that have happened.  Gretta turned 5, that's obviously the biggest deal of all.  She thinks she needs to go to Kindergarten.  Right.NOW!  That kid is awesome.  I love her.  I love all my kids, of course. 

In fact, lets talk kids for a moment. 

I have the best ones there could ever be, I'm pretty sure.  They have been through Hell, and it just keeps coming.  Luckily, they have a great support system between Sean and I.  He is a great dad.  The kids get shuffled back and forth every other weekend, and on Wednesday nights, and they are handling it amazingly well.   Emma was student of the month at her middle school, Maggie is understandably the smartest kid in her class, and Gretta is just about the cutest sassiest kid I've ever met.  But even through all this turmoil, they have managed to keep going.  Not giving in to the temptation to turn on one another that so many kids face when their parents split up.  The just keep going.  I attribute this to a lot of things, but I know that the many many many many prayers I've said, and some of you have said on their behalves, are working.  I always knew they were exceptional.  I always knew they would shine when life got tough, I just never thought this would be the kind of tough they would deal with. 

Let's hope this is the worst of it for them. 

In the meantime, life just keeps on going, whether we like it or not.  Things are hard.  Then they're better.  Then they're hard again.  It's a cycle, albeit a  more exaggerated cycle than anything I've ever experienced before in my life.  I hope one day it will all settle in like it's supposed to, and "normal" will reappear. 

Open Dialogue

Around our house, we keep a very open dialogue about things. We've always taught the proper names of body parts, and keep a light yet educational mood when it comes to learning about life and our bodies.

Especially now that I have a Tween.

We tend to throw the word "Vagina" around a lot in this house. I mean, with 4 girls around, it tends to come up now and then. It comes up in the strangest places, though. Some of you know that my minivan is nicknamed the Vangina. So the kids sort of call it that, and I chuckle every now and then. Then there's the time Maggie and I were learning about China. Somehow it turned into VaChina. Yeah, so there's that. Then there's the time Maggie spilled water on her seat in the Vangina. She said it went onto her vagina, and asked if she watered it, if it would grow. That girl, she kills me.

Well, last night, Gretta got on a roll. She repeatedly had to go through the family stating who had a vagina. It was pretty hilarious, and I didn't want to scold her because I don't want her to think it's wrong, especially considering it's the correct term and all. But I don't want her to think she can just say it whenever she wants, because I know other people might not be as open about things as we are.

But for now, I'm just enjoying the innocence of a little one, and the fact that she's smart enough to know who keep the vaginas around here.

Schooling At Home

I thought I better write something about our homeschooling. I know so many people are interested in how/ why we do it, and I forget sometimes that not everyone understands the draw behind our decision.

Maggie has pretty severe anxiety, and though it is much better now that it has been, public school just wasn't working for her. She was a great student. Quiet, obedient, and never a trouble maker. But she also got overlooked a lot because of her sweet demeanor. You know, the squeaky wheel and all that jazz.

So we homeschool now, and have been for almost a year. We chose to use Washington Online School, which uses the K12 curriculum. The reason I chose this was because I felt like I needed a little bit of structure to my homeschooling, at least at first, and this provided exactly what I needed. We have a schedule of lessons, and though we can do them as fast or slow as we'd like, there is a time line that most parents follow, that coincides with the public school schedule. We basically do school every day, though there are some weeks when I just don't get to it every day, so we make up a lot of days. Ahh, flexibility.

School takes us anywhere from 15 minutes on an easy math day, to over an hour on a more intense reading day. Maggie chooses what she wants to do each day. Some days we only do math. Some days she only wants reading. Some days she wants to do every subject. We have the flexibility to do that. Sort of like public school. They don't do every subject every day, at least not in elementary school.

I know some of you are like, "but what do you do with her the rest of the day?" Good question. I let her learn. She is so good at learning, she does it without even knowing it. Today for example, she printed off some pages of a story book of pictures, and then wrote the words to the story. She made it all up, and it was great. She uses big words, which I don't remember teaching her, and she does this all on her own. She also watches a lot of TV. Yeah, I know. Mother of the year here, but it's good TV. Granted, there is plenty of Disney Channel on at my house, but there is also a lot of Martha Speaks, and Word World, and NatGeo, all of which are great learning opportunities without the kids even realizing they're learning.

I know a lot of moms that say they couldn't be around their kids all day, and that sending them to school is a way to stay sane. I totally get that. There are plenty of days when I just want some alone time, or time to do the laundry or dishes, or even to sweep the floor and have it stay clean for more than 3 minutes. But I consider myself pretty lucky that for the most part, I love being around Maggie. She is silly, and talented, and very easy to hang out with.

I've tried to talk Emma into doing homeschool next year, but she has no interest in it, and I'm fine with that. I loved middle school, and I know she will too. I also have no qualms about sending Maggie to public school if she ever wants to go. It would be a hard transition for me, but we'll cross that bridge when we get there.

So that's how we do it. It's fun, and it works for us. I know it's not for everyone, but when it comes to knowing what your kids need, moms have a gift for giving them exactly what will make them become the best people they can be. And if homeschooling is it, then so be it.

More Medical Things

Below is a pretty graphic image. I have to give you fair warning. If you have a weak stomach, don't bother scrolling down.

Maggie had an ingrown toenail removed 3 weeks ago. It was infected, and the podiatrist went ahead and removed the ingrown part, and chemically "killed" the matrix on that part of her toe to prevent it from growing back again. A simple in-office procedure that took about 30 minutes.

He said after 2 weeks, it should be fine, but during that time, it would look red and weepy. It did. We did the required daily soaks in Epsom Salts, and changed the bandage. Things were looking good, according to what he told me.

After 2 weeks, I went to change the bandage. I admit, I hadn't changed it the day before, but since it was nearly healed, I didn't think too much about it. When I removed the bandage, I was shocked with a horrible smell. Not like a stinky foot kind of smell. A rotting flesh kind of smell. Then I peeled off the bandage, and saw a red, wet, swollen toe, with flesh peeling off.

It wasn't pretty.

I was pretty sure it wasn't supposed to look like that. So I took Maggie into her pediatrician. He was shocked with what he saw. He immediately took a swab to send off a culture, and ordered a shot of Penicillin. He also prescribed 3 times daily oral antibiotics until we could get the culture back and see exactly what we were dealing with.

I was pretty scared. He said it was probably just a Staph infection, but he needed to make sure it wasn't Pseudomonas, a more serious problem.

The next day, it looked worse, more flesh peeling off, and the smell. Oh! The smell! So I took her back in, and sure enough, he needed to drain it off, and give her a betadine soak to kill off some the the infection. He said he was certain at that point that she would lose her nail, possibly permanently, and if if the culture came back with the Pseudomonas, we would have to talk about possibly taking the toe.

Wha????

You can't wear flip flops (thongs) without a big toe!

So the next day we get the call, and sure enough, it's Staph. Phew. A huge sigh of relief. Now it has been a week of antibiotics, and I'm glad to report it looks so much better. The nail is still hanging on, and the skin isn't wet and red. It has taken on a more crusty brown color. But that's what we want.

I'm glad she gets to keep her toe, because I hate bending down to tie shoes, especially in the summer.

Scroll down for the before picture. It's pretty nasty. It was taken the first day in the doctors office. The second day pictures are much worse. I'll spare you those images.

Why I Don't Ride The Bus

When I was a kid, when we would go off-track, (that's a year-round school thing for those of you not in the know) my mom and a bunch of us neighbor kids would all take a day and ride the bus downtown. She did this with us because her mom used to do that with her. It was quite a big deal back in the day. They would don their nicest hat and gloves, and they would pay their $0.5, and ride the one and only bus that ran at that time. While downtown, they would shop, and my mom's mom would always let them get a candy bar, and sometimes a new dress.

See? Big deal.

So we did that when we were kids. We would put on our nicest shorts and sandals, pay our $0.25 to one of the two buses that ran that day, and head downtown. We would always eat lunch, and usually score a couple of outfits. My mom was nice like that.

See? Also a big deal.

So tomorrow I'm taking Maggie on a date. We are going downtown, and I thought I would take her on the bus. Not the train, we're old hats at the train, but the actual bus bus. So I started looking at places to catch the bus. Then I realized every bus (there are like 12 in Riverton now), stops at the train station. But I don't want to go to the train. So I started using the Itinerary link on the UTA website.

It doesn't work. So I called the number. It doesn't work either.

How am I supposed to know where to catch the bus and what time? Seriously, UTA, get your act together. It's no wonder no one rides the bus anymore. You have made it frustrating and inconvenient. And how are good mothers like me supposed to carry on the traditions of our mothers if you make it so difficult to find our way around?

I might just have to resort to driving. But I really want to ride the bus. Or do I?

When It's Cold, We'll Skate

We went ice skating at the Olympic Oval on Saturday. It was a pretty good time. I'm still a little sore. Apparently ice skating uses muscles that bowling and blogging don't. Go figure. My left butt cheek is getting pretty rock hard from bowling, and now my right cheek is sore and stiff from ice skating. My rear end is pretty much a mess. Now I know how J-Lo feels.

Enjoy the rare glimpse into my life with these adorable videos (just a few seconds each) of my kids "ice skating". More like ice walking, but whatever.

Giggle Words

While doing school today, one of Maggie's lesson books was teaching the -unk sound. It was used repeatedly in different words, you know, to enforce the correct usage. We came across one sentence that used the -unk sound in the word form of Junk.

She giggled.

Yep. My sweet 7 year old giggles at the word junk. Just like her daddy. I'm totally mother of the year here.

Little Things

You know, I've been homeschooling for 3 months now. I can't believe it. In those 3 short months, Maggie and I have both learned a lot.

She has learned to read rather well. I have learned to let her take her time in sounding out words, rather than jump right in and tell her what they are.

She has learned that she can do a lot of work on her own now, without me telling he specifically what to do. I've learned that she can be a self starter if I let her take the lead.

It's funny what we can learn about our kids when we are actually engaged in the learning process with them. I find Maggie's humor to be spot on, something I hadn't noticed before this adventure began. I also know that I need to make special concessions for Maggie. She needs things to be stable and smooth, no major bumps in the road, or it throws her whole mojo off.

My previous parenting skills included lots of threats and "if you don't"s, but now I know I need to take the time to see what her perspective is like, and then adjust my own reactions to her needs. She tends to be an organizer, so I let her make math problems in a line up and down, instead of across. She likes to find patterns, so I let her do the sentences out of the order they are written in her book. These are all little things, things that take no time at all to do, things that make her life so easy, and things that I know make her happier.

It's funny how the little things can mean so much. I only hope she appreciates it as much as I appreciate her.

Maggie

Today is her birthday. I can't believe she's 7. It seems like just yesterday that I was having a scheduled C-Section, all calm and ready, only to be blindsided by the pain of the incision and the stark realization that the epidural didn't take. Yeah, did I mention this was during a C-Section? Uh huh. Totally was. Ouchy to say the least.

It's kind of a funny simile to Maggie's whole life. She was a great baby. She had a head full of dark hair, and she sucked her thumb, so she hardly every cried. Then she turned 2. Oh boy. Just when I thought I had a perfect baby and could relax and enjoy having 2 kids, the terrible twos hit. Man, that kid could scream. She still can. Her anxiety issues started becoming more and more apparent, and I knew she would be my kid that needed a little extra special attention. We went through 2 years of her only wanting to wear soft pants, and donning a Belle dress over the top of every outfit. She never let me comb her hair, and taking a bath was a battle. Too much stimulation, we later found out.

But as the years have passed, and we've learned more about what makes Maggie Maggie, she has become a very enjoyable loving daughter. She is a joy to have in our family. Some of the things we love about Maggie are:

• Her love of crafting. She got a tape dispenser and 6 rolls of tape for her birthday. She is in heaven.
• The way she sings like no one can hear her.
  
• How she can be a little mother to the little kids, but tries to be a tween for the bigger kids.
  
• She still wears a tutu some days.
  
• She loves to be homeschooled.
  
• She is learning to read, and will devour any book she can get her hands on.
  
• She has great hair.
  
• When she's tired, she's tired. She will ask to please go to bed.
  
• She still hates to take showers, but baths are okay.
  
• She has great tanning skin. She still has tan lines from LAST summer.
  
• She's terrified of mosquitoes, and for good reason. She has major reactions, and have had her legs and face swell up to the size of a dinner plate.
  
• She likes to clean and organize things.
  
• She's very kind and loving.
  

We love our Maggie, and we're so glad she's part of our family!

Lucky Seven

Maggie's birthday is tomorrow. We have a tradition that we go together and pick out a cake. She took it upon herself to design the cake.

Here it is.

I think she may just have a future in cake design, what do you think? I was very proud of her. Stay tuned tomorrow for a list of things we love about Maggie.

Pretty Scary Stuff

We went to Lagoon's Frightmares on Saturday. (Sort of like FrightFest for you Six Flags peeps, but with less cool make up and more kiddie themed stuff.) You know, since we have season passes we have to make the most of them! It was the second day of Frightmares, and a Saturday, so I thought it might be crowded. Turns out, no so crowded. It was a perfect day. Cool in the shade, warm in the sun, not a cloud in the sky. The kids were having a blast, and I got some relaxing people watching time in, which I will miss dearly when the park closes.


Shortly after this photo was taken, we decided to go through one of the haunted houses they make specifically for Frightmares. It was a 3 Spider rating on a scale of 1-4. Pretty scary sounding to me. But Maggie and Sean were up for it, so we left Gretta with Emma, and headed in to our doom. The whole haunted house was painted in 3-D paint, and you had to wear 3-D glasses. It was pretty cool. Maggie did well, she didn't put on her glasses, and that helped a lot. As we got toward the end, I commented that it smelled like gas. Just then, a masked man jumped out and pull started a chain saw and chased us down the exit ramp.

I'm pretty sure Maggie pooped her pants. Or maybe that was me. I don't know, but it was pretty darn scary.

I think we'll stick to the kiddie straw maze and the haunted house rides. Those are just up my alley.

If There Was A Way To Write The Sound A Drill Makes, It Would Go Here

Maggie gets to go to the dentist today. She absolutely looooves the dentist. Do you sense my sarcasm? Actually, we all went to see Dr. Matt last week, and none of us cried. That's a pretty big deal. But even though 4 of us checked out cavity-free, poor Mags has a couple of doozies.

She's not too scared of what's to come, yet. She has been fine all morning. I'm sure she'll be fine up until they put her in that chair and start tilting it backward. Oh, the screams that will be heard. There will be drooling, and snot, and lots and lots of tears, I'm sure. And then there will be her, oh boy. ;)

I have always hated the dentist. As a kid, the only time we went to the dentist was if we had an abscess, or needed a root canal. Never for a cleaning. I didn't even know people went to the dentist to get their teeth cleaned until I was married. Go figure. We've been lucky enough to have a great family dentist, and cleanings have remained fairly consistent. I know that's a huge blessing. Dental insurance is cheap, but dental work, even with insurance, is not.

I don't think Mags will need root canals. She had to have one last year, and it was pretty bad. These ones look like they'll be okay. But then again, I'm no dentist, so what do I know?

It Is Done

Well, I did it. Yesterday I dropped the official home schooling affidavit in the mail. It was signed, notarized, and included a SASE for the district to send me back a signed copy.

I have to admit, I was nervous.

I mean this is a huge undertaking. What if I screw it up and my kid ends up a complete idiot unable to read or write, and it's all my fault? Yeah, I'm a freak.

I feel confident in a weird way, though, because I've read every home school book offered in the 2 libraries that are close to me. I've also scoured 3 Barnes and Noble's and pored over every book I can find on the subject.

I don't think I even did this much research when I was pregnant. Ever. Combined with all 3 pregnancies. What does that say about me?

So starting on Wednesday, Maggie will officially begin home schooling. She'll have a bit of a "deschooling" period where she'll just want to play and have fun and not really do anything "schooly", and that's completely normal and okay. Will you please remind me that I said that when weeks have gone by and I don't think I've taught her one thing?

I just can't believe it's done, and we're on to this new chapter. I'm thinking I'll start a home school blog to chronicle our daily life, so when/if I do, I'll let you know. I know, you're on the edge of your seats.

Disappointed

I was really sort of hoping to post a video of my Maggie screaming at the top of her lungs while the doctor attempted to cut off her cast. I had the vision in my head of snot running down her face, people at the other end of the building wondering who was slaughtering a poor sick animal, and Sean and I laughing as this all went down.

I was sorely disappointed.

We had really primed Mags for the saw situation. We told her it would be loud, and that it would press on her arm. We told her she'd have to show the doctor she can move her arm afterward, even if it hurt.

Apparently we did a great job.

She didn't even blink an eye at that saw. When the cast was finally off, she smiled and moved her arm joyfully. Even during the follow up X-Rays, she gladly provided the needed positioning with nary a grimace.

Man, now what am I supposed to post?

I'm proud of my little Mags. She is brave and strong, and now she is healed! Yay for disappointments.

Kicking And Screaming

Maggie has issues. She takes after her mother. But man, oh, man, things have gotten bad around here.

Let me preface by saying that never have I had to deal with a horrible sleeper. My kids love to go to bed. They've all slept through the night (or I have) since they were a few weeks old.

Suddenly, Maggie has a huge fit every night before bed. I'm not talking a fit of just crying or screaming. It's a fit with hitting and swearing, oh wait, that's me, but she does her fair share of kicking and hitting.

She started this about the same time she broke her arm. It's her left arm, and she sucks her left thumb. Well, with the cast on, the thumb is gone. I think part of this problem is that she's having withdrawals. But it's been over a week now, and it's still going on. Last night was not pretty. There were threats of abuse, plenty of cussing and many times I threw my hands in the air in exasperation.

What do I do? How can I get her to bed each night without threatening to kill her?

(Don't bother calling DCFS, they would only have to see this sort of fit one time, and they'd give me a slap on the back, and wish me luck as they headed right back out the door).

Recovery

Well, our patient is recovering nicely. She has just finished her first bath since the incident, and she screamed and pleaded and begged through the entire thing. She hates baths on a good day, but when there's a plastic bag and a change of routine involved, it just really throws her for a loop.

But she survived, despite Sean wanting to drown her. (Not really, I promise. I'm exaggerating. Don't call DCFS, mmmkay?)

And the best part is, we only have 3 more weeks of this.

Good times.

Broke

PTA night at Classic Skating was quite adventurous. It's a clean break, called a supercondylar fracture. Just above the elbow, the bone snapped off, but luckily between last nights X-Rays and today, the shard of bone that was the culprit for a surgical consult had righted itself, and all it needs now is a cast for 3 weeks.

Broke.

It hurts.

School At Home

Well, today is the day. The day I make the actual decision.

I'm meeting with a Homeschool resource counselor at our local library. Recently the library was given a $3 million grant to start a resource center devoted strictly to homeschoolers. It has all the curriculum available for use in the library, or to be checked out and taken home. They have microscopes, instruments, puzzles, and all sorts of fun classroom activities that can be used. I'm pretty excited.

And plenty nervous.

The one thing I have going for me is that it's just Kindergarten. Kindergarten isn't required in the state of Illinois, so even going to Kindergarten at all is a step ahead. Maggie is thrilled with the idea of doing school at home, and I think it will suit her better given her anxiety and sensory overload issues. She is plenty smart, that's not a problem, and she is a quick learner, but I know in my heart this is what's best for her. And sometimes being a parent involves making tough choices based on what's best for our kids.

So starting at the first of the year, she'll be homeschooling with me. I can't wait to see how it turns out.

Really? Really?!?

Maggie's bus driver got fired. Yep, fired. From driving a bus. She didn't crash. She wasn't late. In fact, it wasn't anything like that. According to the school principal that I talked with this morning, the kids were never "in any kind of danger".

Unless you count pornography as danger.

I do.

Yep, the bus driver, we'll call her Miss May, got fired for allegedly showing kids on the bus pornographic images on her cell phone. Go Miss May. How completely awesome of you to think that innocent minds awaiting an influx of knowledge from the days classes would instead like to fill that space with rotten images of, and I'm speculating here, your 300 pound butt and probably acne scarred cleavage.

You rule.

And just so you know, Maggie will not be riding the bus anymore. I don't care who the bus driver is. I'm obviously leery about letting any adult be alone with 6 Kindergartners on a big vehicle for approximately 20 minutes of unsupervised time. Call me crazy.

And I'm just putting this out there, call me crazy or not, whatever. I'm totally considering Home School. I know, but this is just one of many catalysts that has turned my thinking in that direction. If Sean was on board, I would do it in a second. But let's not debate that here. I'll do another post about that.

Let's focus on the slime ball Miss May that took it upon herself to make parents like me worry even more than they had to 1 day ago. Thanks for that.


Post edit: Here is the link to the story. Oh, and you get to see her lovely face!

Recently one of my blogging buddies, Sara, whose mom also died of Pancreatic Cancer, had her daughter's room featured here. It's absolutely adorable.

It got me thinking about my kids' rooms.

I don't "do" kids rooms.

I think it's a waste of money because sooner or later, and probably sooner, they will want it changed, and then the whole process has to start over. I think the most effort I've put into my kids' rooms was a coat of paint and some repositionable adhesive circles. Big woop.

But, in the last few days as I've started dejunking, I've decided I might just submit Maggie's room. The stripes were already there when we moved in, but she has done a fabulous job of decorating it herself to show off her personality.






What do you think? Is it worthy?

Now, I'm totally embarrassed putting this picture up there, but if any of you have never seen your kids room like this in your lifetime, you're a way better parent than I am. Her room is usually pretty clean. But like I said, we've been dejunking, and I've found so many clothes that have been saved from Emma, that suddenly I have an overload of clothing, and not enough drawer space. I might just have to start using the closet shelves, which I don't like to do because the drawers keep things to a manageable level, and the closet could just add up and up, and I don't want to go there.

So for now, things will just have to stay a little messy. Not to this extent, of course, I do have my standards, but they certainly won't be as organized as I'd like. Thankfully, and I never thought I'd say this, Maggie goes through about 3 outfits a day, so there is always a big pile of "dirty" clothes, which helps to keep the drawer space accessible.