So I have a problem. Well, I probably have lots of problems, but one that's bugging in particular.
No, it's not the way my belly jiggles like a Jell-O mold when I run.
No, it's not the fact that my skin looks like a 14 year old boy's.
It's that when I run, my shorts, they creep. Up and up and up, until I feel like my vajazzling is hanging out. It's not really, I hope (I'm pretty sure it's not!), but I start to feel a little immodest.
I know, most normal people wear compression shorts under their running shorts. I tried that. Problem is, since they are, well, compression-y, they give me the worst muffin top Ev.Er. It's gross. It's like the Jell-O mold exploded and there are Jell-O Jiggler bodaggits bouncing around under my shirt. It's really quite ugly, and not nearly as funny as the explanation. So I quit wearing them.
Now, I don't run in the 1980's version of running shorts, just so we're clear. They are not made out of neon nylon, and they don't have slits up the sides all the way to there. They're just regular Under Armour shorts, not of immodest length. I trade off between the creepers, and my longer shorts, which don't creep, but are hot and a little cumbersome.
So I guess my problem is this: Do I wear the compression shorts and jiggle down the road, surely to garner snide and hilarious comments from drivers as they pass, or do I skip the compression shorts, and hope to all hope that my vajayjay stays covered and just pretend like I don't notice the creeping?
What would you recommend as a passerby? Would you be more apt to notice a jiggly middle, or shorty shorts that look like they are being eaten by Ladytown?