Tuesday, August 14, 2007

Remember when...

Tonight I attended a wedding.

A beautiful wedding.

My rockin' cousin Chuck* married Shelly*, and at this wedding they had a video. It showed the usual pictures of them as babies and children, and of course pictures of them together as their love grew. Awww. But as I watched this video, I was reminded of just how fast time goes by. It's dumb, really, to get so wrapped up in everyday life that you forget the meaningful moments.

But it happens.

And now Chuck, the cute, spiky haired, tan, little monster, that no one could understand but his mom, is now a husband. And here I am, wondering how he grew up, and I haven't aged a bit. Can it be possible that in the figurative blink of an eye, it will be Emma getting married? And where has the time gone? What have I left behind for her to learn from and grow from?

I'm left to wonder of the impact that I'm making on her life. I hope she takes all the good intentions I have, and knows that's the real person I am. I hope she doesn't see "The Avoider" I can be, or the social anxiety that plagues me, or the way I use humor to mask my low self esteem. I hope she only takes the good, and leaves the bad.

I hope, I hope, I hope....

What I really hope is that she could stay little forever, and never grow up to know of adult pressures. To eat with her hands and get food on her face. To swim like a fish, and not care how she looks in a swimsuit. To make friends with a person just because they like to slide down the curly slide too. To never have heartache, or peer pressure, or disappointment.

But all these things are sure to come. And I can only look back and remember when she was my baby, my baby bear, my wiener dog.

*Names have been changed to protect the innocent. Not that I'm implying that "Chuck" has ever been innocent in his life.

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