Dear sugar daddy,
I love you so much. You make me smile, laugh, cringe, cuss, you can irritate me beyond belief. But somehow, I can never, ever stay mad at you. You never fight back when I want you to. You always break into song at restaurants and grocery stores. You never listen, but you always seem to know what I mean. You try and be refined. But I know it's just an act. You're cute when you get romantic. Sometimes you drive like a grandpa, other times you scare me to death with your darting in and out of traffic. You can fix anything. You know things that the average human has no idea about. Most of the time you're full of crap. But it's sweet. I love you for so many reasons. I'm glad it's your birthday so I can tell you how I feel. I hope you have a good day, and many other good days to come.
Love,
Your pain in the butt.
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