Tuesday, May 20, 2008

The Guilties

Guilt. I hate that word. More than hating the word, I hate the feeling of the Guilties. You know what I'm talking about. Everyone gets it, and I don't know anyone that likes it. But I've made a resolution. I am no longer going to feel guilty for being the way I am. And I think the best way for me to exercise my renewal of freedom from the Guilties, is to write it out. Plain and simple. Things I will no longer feel guilty about.

  • Not being thin enough.
  • Not being pretty enough.
  • Not having a perfectly clean house.
  • Not buying my kids everything they want.
  • Not going to church every week.
  • Having friends that are not Mormons.
  • Preferring to spend time with my family than with the Ward.
  • Using an occasional colorful word to enhance my point.
  • Letting my kids eat candy, and preservatives, and watch TV.
  • Being myself, and all that it encompasses.
I've been having an inner turmoil since we moved here. I have been finding out who I really am inside. And you know what? I kinda like me. I'm pretty cool. I would be friends with me if I wasn't me. I am fully aware that I may not be a spiritual person, or one who sees beauty in every day life, or even one who looks for those things, but I have my ways of staying happy and seeing what fulfills me. I also understand that what and who I am today is not who I will always be, but merely a beginning to what I can become. But I have to do the things that feel right to me. And it's not always the easiest thing. But it's who I am. I am me. And gosh darn it, I like me!

No comments: