Thursday, January 28, 2010

Homeless

Last night, while I was lying in bed listening to Sean rattle the walls with his snoring and trying my damnedest not to punch him in the face, I got to thinking. I do my best thinking while restraining myself from spouse-icide. I'm homeless. Not like, head to the shelter and get a warm meal kind of homeless, but like I have nowhere to call my own, kind of homeless.

It's hard.

Don't get me wrong, I'm grateful to be here. I'm so grateful for family being close, and I love having my kids going to a great school. But I miss having my own house. My own home. My own space to come home to and just do whatever in. I miss my dog. I miss my couch. I mostly miss my DVR. Who doesn't have DVR, these days, anyway? Does this sound like a bad country song yet?

And then there's my parents house. It's different. It's gone. I knew it would be, now that dad is remarried it shouldn't stay the way it was. But it isn't "home" to me either. So basically I have nowhere to call home for now.

I'm well aware that this is temporary. There's a good chance next year at this time we'll be settled into a teeny tiny apartment in Logan, and I'll be complaining about something else. But for now, this is tough. I feel like a visitor in my own life.

I just hope I don't overstay my own welcome and end up literally homeless.

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9 comments:

Kalli Ko said...

I know this feeling all too well and it suuuuuucks! I will commiserate with you but you are exactly right, it doesn't last forever. It can't. Right?

mandee said...

You can do it! It won't be forever! Logan? What made him decide to go there? It is FREEZING up there! Now about that lunch date... and We don't have DVR! LOL

Kirsten said...

If you do decide to hit the streets, I'll definitely look you up :) J/K

Kathie said...

That does suck! I wish I had words of wisdom for you but there's nothin' coming to me. BTW I LOVED Logan! but it is really cold.

Kelley Rae said...

I feel for ya friend - I hope the time goes by fast so you can move on to your own place. And we're also in the dark ages - no DVR either, but you can't complain when it's free cable ;)

Kelley Rae said...

I meant WE can't complain . . . not YOU can't complain . . . well whatever, you know what I meant :)

grannybabs said...

When we had a crowd sleeping in our house New Year's Eve, Harry was snoring (I snore too, but I don't hear myself - and it doesn't bother Harry!!) Anyway, I was thinking, there are people on the living room floor, the family room floor, people in the guest room. And a whole crowd in the Presidential Suite in the garage. There was nowhere to go to escape the noise!! (I have been known on occasion to go to the couch to read until I fall asleep when Harry's snoring awakens me - or prevents me from falling asleep.)

And it was too cold to go out on the patio in the swing - a great place to sleep in the summer.

And I couldn't even go in the kitchen for a snack and some reading since the lights would wake one of the 19 people sleeping in our house.

So I went in the bathroom and read old Sunset magazines.

Hope your life is better than that!!

Kelli said...

I keep tellin' you to come on over! Who knows, the way work is going we might become homeless too! Anyway, you are always welcome here...we love having you guys around!

bonny with a Y said...

if it makes you feel any better - we don't have a dvr.