A few days ago, I got really honest with myself about a lot of things. You know, the kind of honesty that is scary to let out. I have a private blog (okay, a few of them, I'm a freak like that), and I wrote a great big honest letter to myself.
My brain responds particularly well to seeing words on paper, and when I can write them down in a semi-coherent manner, I can literally feel the stress departing with each written word.
This letter made me become aware of a lot of issues I had been keeping inside. Unfortunately, it came out in a way that was destructive not only to me, but to several other people, too. Sometimes hard decisions are what we have to make in order to see the correct perspective.
None of this will make much sense to most of you (who am I kidding, like this blog ever makes sense!), but it makes sense to me. I know in my heart that I am a better person for facing the demons that I had repressed for so many years. I know that without my friends and family, my life would be so empty.
There is no better feeling than facing a hard choice, faltering, and finally reveling in the triumph of doing the right thing. I know for me, I have to take the long way to the triumph part, but it's usually worth it.
And to cap it all off, last night I was able to lay in bed, cuddled up with hubby, and watch Blindside, until I fell asleep in his arms. That made the whole day worth it.
3 comments:
First of all, I'm so glad I'm not the only one with a bunch of different blogs. Makes me feel less freakish.
And second, hope you are doing better. You're right, this post does nothing for my curiosity, but its good to hear that whatever was bothering you is resolved.
I love that you cuddled up and watched a movie together and fell asleep. I love those nights!
Hey, I don't know what's going on, but I live just around the corner. Bring the kids and we can sit and have a chit chat and a diet coke together--well I'll have lemonade:)you know I'm off the hard stuff:)
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