Monday, March 29, 2010

Ring Ring

I caught the end of Radio From Hell the other day, and they were talking about whether or not a man should go into debt for an engagement ring. This one particular man had a girlfriend who came from a wealthy family, and she wanted a ring that was $30,000. She said her boyfriend could put as much as he could down on it, and her dad would pick up the difference.

This got me thinking. What would you expect?

When we got engaged, we were young and broke, and clueless. Sean picked out my ring, and paid for it with some extra cash he had laying around. It isn't spectacular, and since then I've been treated to several nicer fancier versions of wedding rings that I wear more often.

But I have a lot of friends who demanded fancy schmancy huge diamonds for their engagement rings, and I've often wondered what exactly their thoughts are on that.

Does the size of the diamond or the cost of the ring determine the amount of love your sigoth has for you?

Doesn't the act of giving you a token of love of any size or cost signify enough love?

What is your ring story? Do you still love it? Hate it? Wear it? Upgraded it? Or have you ever even had one?

As for me, I keep my original in my jewelry box because A) it doesn't fit anymore, and B) It's not really my style. I wear a wedding set Sean bought me for our 5 year anniversary occasionally, a big 4 carat beauty I got for our 10 year anniversary once in a while, but lately I wear a simple Stainless Steel plain band every day that was my moms. All of them have a lot of meaning to me, but the plain band is my favorite, for obvious reasons.

I've never really asked Sean how he feels about me not wanting to wear my original ring, or if it bothers him that I prefer the plain band over the honker diamond. I don't know if he even notices, or cares.

Do most men?

What's your ring story?

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hanner said...

my diamond was robbie's great-great (i think 2 greats) aunt's, who was actually a spinster. her fiance died in the war and she never got married! but i have the diamond from her ring and robbie picked out a setting. i like that it's a family keepsake and that robbie chose everything on his own and i was completely surprised when he proposed.

i like the sentimentality of rings, but i think it's ridiculous that anyone would spend upwards of 30 grand for one.

grannybabs said...

Harry and I met my Grandpa Clayton (that would be Peter A. Clayton)at the Hotel Roberts in Provo (where he always stayed when he came to Provo)a couple of weeks before our wedding and exchanged our $35 for a pair of gold bands - that we both still wear today.

I remember my brother Lyn saying that we weren't really engaged since I didn't have an engagement ring! (Harry's mother and both his sister and sister-in-law did not have engagement rings - although I think Fran got one for her 2nd marriage - Harry's comment to me upon our engagement had been, "Do you want a ring? I guess we could see about one - but we'd have to wait to get married since we can't afford a ring and a wedding right now!)

I opted for getting married sooner - and we may never have been "engaged" but we've been married for 42 years!

(Harry's mom brought me a diamond from South Africa after their mission there. When she saw that I hadn't had it put in a setting for a couple of years, she had it set for a birthday gift. I don't wear it very much since I don't like to draw attention to my stubby fingers!)

Sorry for the long comment - could be a post if I had a photo!!

Kelley Rae said...

Love my ring, and love that we're not still paying for it ;) I've thought about if I would ever want to change/upgrade it, but ultimately I don't think I would cahnge anything about it. There's a lot I could do with $30,000. See the world, college for my kids, laser hair removal :) It's not about the ring, it's about loving the man who gave it to you. I wouldn't change my small simple one for anything. (PS. I <3 Radio From Hell!!)

Kirsten said...

I'm pretty sure you helped Bryan pick mine out, so you'd know better than me how much it cost :) I still don't know how much it cost, but know he didn't go into debt to purchase it. I still love it and the guy who gave it to me. I wear it everyday, except when we're in sketchy places.

On a side note, in brazil no married couple wears a diamond. Both husband and wife wear a simple gold band.

Kalli Ko said...

I think the idea of going into debt for an engagement or wedding band is ridonkulous but I know in Utah it's a normal thing. Stupid.

Though I have an especially nice set of diamond eternity bands which I cherish and love and refer to as "my precious", we were lucky enough to pay cash for them so no debt on that end for us.

To be completely honest, in hindsight, I might have sprung for a less expensive option which would have given us more money to start our lives together with. I love plain and simple bands, to me they say so much more than a huge honker in your face. My bands are simple, yes, but they are still exceptionally nice and I recognize that I'm spoiled rotten. However, many times over the last year I've felt guilty and even uncomfortable owning and wearing them when we could hardly afford to take the family to McDonald's.

My advice to the engageds is to get what you can afford, the rest will come later but you might find you're happy with what you already have.

LIZ said...

I always wanted a nice band to go around mine but after losing it this winter I realized it isn't about how it looks it's about what it symbolizes. My ring may be small and have a spot of carbon in it but it means a lot to me because it reminds me every day of the promises we made to each other and the love that we share.

Even though Damian got me a new one I was over joyed when I found my original one. I can't wear it right now but i'm looking forward to the day it fits again. (dang skinny pregnancy fingers)

Phoebe said...

I don't wear my ring anymore, either. My diamond is loose and it needs to be reset and spending the money on a new setting keeps getting pushed back. Maybe by our 20th anniversary!
I do wear my wedding and, a coupe of awesome fakes and a great wide gold band that David gave me, it depends on my mood. David just rolls his eyes and says that he never should have spent all that money on a diamond that I don't wear anymore. He might be right, but it was fun getting an engagement ring!

Jessica said...

I love any ring that was not purchased with debt. I feel that way about just about everything. House, cars, jewelry, furniture, vacations, nose jobs... if you can afford it, I think it is fabulous! My ring cost $999.00. We thought we were high rollin' that we were able to afford that. I actually don't wear it very often anymore though. I wear a Lia Sofia knock off, but I do still love the sentiment. That is if I remember to wear any ring at all. And I love the idea of you wearing your mom's band. Sometimes understated is the classiest you can get!

Jessica said...

Oh, and what I meant about debt for a home is not that I don't believe in mortgages, just mortgages that you can afford, and pay off as soon as possible. You get my drift. Sorry, I don't mean to sound preachy, I have been listening to too much Dave Ramsey. I'm like a robot, spouting out what is programed.